Judge — December 12, 1931 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Me play the stock market! Say, do I look that crazy?” HARD PBTS FOR HARD TIMES By Chet Shafer V iru the current urge toward rigidity in ec why not a surge toward rigidity in pets? What could be more logical now than a movement to revive the interest once so dominant in Wild Cast-Iron Animal Life? Magnificent creatures were those Ferrous Fauna of the good old days—gracing the front lawns of the elect. They i Morcover, they had that rare quality of h so recommends them for adoption now. Take, for instance, the cast-iron deer. Poised on a pedestal four inches thick, he boasted a gross weight of something like half-a-ton. Did he totter with Did he ever show signs of getting a little strin, Or consider the mastiff! Maybe a trifle inclined to the ponderous. Possibly a little over-built behind! But what a fixed personality. And did this resounding, flea-proof taasterpiece of the moulder’s technique ever suffer from jitters, cholera, sciatica or any of the fell diseases that lay low the puny mongrels of these days? He did not. No. Those cast-iron critters were hard. They possessed all the outstanding qualities required of a pet. To substi- tute them for the average mine-run of Chows and Sealy: hams that litter up the limousines these days would be a whaling big step in the right direction, economically. For lovers of our feathered friends, what could match a trim cast-iron pigeon? Perched permanently on the ridge-pole of a «, or cemented tothe rimofawindow- homies, AK JUDGE box! No fuss, no feathers, no bird-seed. Not even the cost a cage. There’s an idea for the Audubon Socicty to take under its and promote. Hard Animals For Hard Times! They cut pet-upkeep to the bone, Their overhead is negligible. Maybe a little filing down in spots, now and then, or a little soldering. M an occasional brighten ing-up with a fresh coat of paint after the birds return from the south, But that would be about all. Pick a decr, a mastiff, a spaniel or a pigcon, Sct it in the front yard or the library. ‘Twenty—even thirty years from now—it would still be in first-class condition. No noise. No tricks to show off to guests. No hairs on your pants. Yes, Cast-Iron Animals are pets of permanence. Once they're budgeted—that’s the end of it. “Heavens, girls! Four A. M. already!” comicbooks.com