Judge — November 14, 1931 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WAT Aten eay On > AN EX-PRKER AND CWN8 De BESS! The Nouveau Poor SJ 2887 and L, two gay exponents of the art of living to the full, with a single thought in minds and without a single cent in pockets, considered the challenge of an evening of tap- dancing atop the world—I mean to say we wondered if a what-ho night could be spent in this tottering town without spending! Mae was nigh—Mac is always nigh when I am with a lovely girl, and he overheard. He hears everything, si successfully imitating the way his po- lice dog points his cars at all sounds without changing the position of his head! He wore the knowing expres- sion one Packard owner exchanges with another. “T've an idea!” tossed Mac. “Let's order sandwiches for three from the Ziegfeld Follies’ drug store, where I have a charge account which I never pay—we can get coffee in a thermos, too, and mayl sack of salad—and buzz over to Moriarity’s, the town’s most uppity hush-hall, sit in the plush bar and tell the waiter to fetch nap- kins for three!” “Swell!” said Janct as she stumped out her cigaret in Mac's hair. But I had another idea. Mae saw it coming and disappeared like a cow- ardly turtle deep into his stiffy shirt. “There’s a new sneakeasy over East Fifty’s way, called the Club de Pression—you know, named after the current ups and downs. Depression- ists, I am tipped, go there, pay eight dollars per person, and are permitted nd sup their fill from seven in ening until three in the morn- There are no other tariffs levied —no tips—your hat, even, is checked back correctly and with a cheer-o smile! The only drawback, of course, is $24 to see, sip an’ sup there! Mac —have you $24 on you?” "suspected Ma JUDGE “Dandy! I'll play you backgam- mon for it!” And Mac, intrepid gambler at heart, who had always thought back- gammon meant something about little kids playing up an alley, played me, and, of course, having pushed the little squares inst Frank Crownin- shield at Rube Goldberg’s Backgam- mon and Sewing Society Party, 1 had no trouble with a mind as wandering as Mac's. I mean I won his $24! So—Janct and Mae 'n’ I set out afoot for the Club de Pression! Arriving—Janet with blisters a-heel —we found the town’s most obstinate doorman refusing us entrance. He had never seen us before, and Mac d: “Then, Mr. Doorman, you prob- ably jus’ got to New York an’ thississ your first job of door- ing, because Junior and I have attended — k CNT | ek the opening of prac- ae tically every door in the city! ventually Janet, whose mind igger-Winchell, threatencd to call a pan if we were kept out of the place other minute. So in we went—dumped 4 into heavy air and hop-skipped to the crowded ba Here were the men and women who repre- sent the Nouveau Poor! Folk who once thought nothing of smilingly settling a Snes ght Club check which came to an honest hundred dollars, which would be cheerfully doubled by a captain of wait- ers, to which the table waiter would add $30 more because some- body lost a cap off a ginger-ale bottle. Jus’ lookut those ladies and gentlemen now! All in smart evening duddies, a bit frayed and green around lapels and skirt hems and reminiscent of the modes of October, 1929, but still aristocratically presentable! We went into a flying wedge, Mac in front, and after two bucks at the bar line, we went through for three Dykar After Mae had made his fourth Dykaree down, he went com- pletely collegiate and began ordering drinks for ever’body in the Club de Pression! I will say this for Mac, I honestly believe he’d completely for- 14 IG gotten there'd be no check to pay! A bit of the spirit got into me, too! It's a dandy feeling — everything in the house for nothing. The Club de Pression skimps not at all in its wet wares. The liquids are good and of pre-depression vin- tage. It is all happily amazing. The patrons soon glow and a 1929 state of mind is reer 1, T even heard one ex-broker advise a beaming ex-cus- tomer that General Motors would never fall below 300! [heard an owner of several thousand shares of IF Yu Dor LeT US IN, ILL CAL A gara-Hudson say to his crimson Carmen, “I'll sell ten shares inna morning, baby, and we'll bounce down to C s and go haywire with pearls!” There were men and women who imbibed themselves into the illusion that the good ol’ Rolls- Royce, Meadows at the wheel, was waiting patiently at the curb outside. Depression, indeed !! But there was one chappie at the bar who kept saying, ‘Conditions are terrible !—market'll nev’ come back! —depression’ll always be our li'l pal!” He was thrown out by four comicbooks.com