Judge — October 17, 1931 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I Morning Coffee I HAVE m. discovery. de a strange I made it one morning when I was br asting Childs, and I wonder why no one ever discovered it before. Well, maybe they *, but anyway. «++» Looking about me, [ caught a picture of everybody raising their coffee cups to their lips. And accompanying the act, in every case, there was a sudden acute slumping of shoulders and dropping of jaws, followed by a glazed, y look in’ the general va- of expression lin- red until the next sip, when the te symptoms became manifest again. I le d out at the weather, but no, the sun was shining 1 the sky was blue—so that couldn't have been it. Intensive research has given me no answer to the mystery. It’s just that Morning Coffee Look, Is there a psychologist in’ the house? | SUNOR SUGGESTS “THAT FIRST FicoR WINDOWS BE MADE MoRE ENTERTAINING AND DEMONSTRATIVE FOR BSTSP RoMeos — JUDGE Joseph who sum- a little town near Kingston, N. Y., which is up in the Catskills, decided to spend the winter there, too, instead of coming back to town. Ap- proaching a native, he inquired, “I'm think- ing of spending the winter up here. V it like?” “Wal,” said the na- tive quite natively, “We git eight months winter round here—and four months danged cold weather!” mers in hat’s Eye-Queues A, sax has three friends, Tom, Dick 4% and Harry. He remembers the names of their children are Jane, Ted, Mary, Bill and Sally. He also remem- bers that ‘Tom has the same number of children, but twice as many girls $ Dick and that h ] of Tom’s children is half as old as ly, who is the same as Bill, and that Ted is the same age as Mary. Two and only two of the children are twins. How did the gent, without asking, figure out which children be- longed to which of his friends? Divide half a dollar by one-half. What do you get? It takes a trav- cler 19 hrs, to get from A to B and 17 hrs. from B to wz A. Going uphill, he makes 5 miles per hour and downhill 10 miles per hour, What is the distance between A and B? ast week’s—No, 1: z to light the The woman lamp before Mary was aged 12, Anne 18, and Irene 19, the trick be to find out Mary's age relation to Jane's. The Parlor Inane B trons we go any further, the of “Let's Be Dumb” is f : derived from those books called “Bon- indices of the value of a modern ation. Where “Boners” only g: 1 chance to admire other peop gnoranc “Let's Be Dumb" "IL give you a chance to be a little stupid your- self. Everyone, in turn, suggests a word. This word may be just a common person, place, event or thing. The players then write down their sub- cretinous interpretations of the se lected word. The results are read and the dumbest answer wins one leg ona dunce cap made out 0 the ew York Times containing a speech by Nicholas Murray Butler. These are issued every day so it won't any trouble getting one. he hat wins, The word, we'll si is “Pergola.” Hi gested home-mad py of en legs to be dumbed are some sug boners”: “A per- is something what you make the coffce in in the morning.” Or “A per- gola is a fellow who climbs in a sec- ond story at night.” Or “A pergola is a Venetian street-car.” Or “discuss vitation’.” The answers would bi avitation is the study of dunking in gravy.” Or “G ation is what you must learn to be a mortician.” gol n.” Or “Gravitation is going from a lower school to a righer, such as ‘I gravitated from Groton to Harvard last year.’ ” Some fu (Continued on page 24) comicbooks.com