Judge — October 17, 1931 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Two Time Readers Get Together .. well! How is Fullerbrush- man Joseph Nelson Fomish?” “Not so good, Oscar Jamison Doaks. Reason: too many people are not buying brushes. Last week from the otfice of bewhiskered, bejowled, bespectacled, bejeweled, —bedamned street cleaning tycoon Homer Phipps Weatherly Fullerbrushman Fomish was thrown bodily. Rolling, reeling down the corridor he collided violent- ly with one Sarah Whiffle, who squealed, squalled, squabbled. Ex- claimed she: jet the hell out of here’ !” “All sympathy to Fullerbrushman Fomish. But observant n noticed last week that Oscar Doaks was married to Daisy ( ny ) Whiffle, daughter of Sarah W hif- News hawks lacked zealous- otherwise keen-eyed Fuller- brushman Fomish could scarcely have missed the item. But what a curious coincidence ? “Yes, indeed. Married. Large- mouthed Oscar Jamison Doaks, 31, American Manhole Cover Company shipping and plump, liquid- eyed Ds (‘Sunny’) Whiffle, 30, one- time dancer, thrice before married and divorced (TIME, Sept. 1, Octo- ber 1, November 1); in New York.” “Great must have been the excite- “Lady, x JUDGE “Thank heavens, Cora has a fire going!” ment. But because it is now noon Ful- Jerbrushman Fomish must cram steak, potatoes, coffee, bread & butter into his stomach so that (1) he can ap- pease his hunger, and (2) so that he will not be hungry this afternoon.’ | ww SHOWIN ly ——$— 2] xen Rag’ hat would Ronald Colman think of you arguing over a nickel?” 16 “Why not have lunch with Shipping Clerk Doaks and plump, liquid-eyed Daisy Whitle Do: sstion Fuller: n Fomish is ateful but he sy Whiffle Doaks this mornin while retailing brushes from door to doc “Was a deal consummated?” “No. Her statement was substan- tially that of her mother, Sarah Whif- fle. Content, Fullerbrushman Fomish pat alone.” sec you later, stop, chat.” ne & dandy.” —Gerney Wittiams 1931 Football Yells Ovrss! Carrots! Cat Look at all those empty seats! Hit the crowd, Cop the ¢ Shakespeare! Keats! Swell the tiny you lazy fellers— you ticket sellers. Swinburne! Shelley! gate receipts! _ *# * Boorenics A-noom! boom— Boom-chicka- Last year we sold standing room! Last year’s profits, after rent, Totalled thirty-eight per cent! Bring back those f Put the ! Rah! Sis! Boom! Bah! ootball! Football! Blah! Blah! Blah! *_ 28 «@ Preses must wrinkle, eggs must poach, We must pay our football coack We must pay him quite a lot— Whiskey} ein the bank is peewee! If this slump continues on We'll appeal to Otto Kahn, Tell him how our losses cow us— Possibly he'll then endow us! Birds must fly and b yes must play And coaches must rece ¢ their pay! —Antuve Livetay comicbooks.com