Judge — October 10, 1931 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

readers autographed copies of the hilarious new COLLECTED DRAWINGS of BRUCE BAIRNSFATHER Erery book sold to a Judge reader will be personally autographed by Bruce Bairnsfather. The book is beautifully printed, cloth bound and gold stamped. This collection you will prize for a life time. PRICE autographed $3.00 A SURE CURE FOR WHAT AILS YOU! Try “Old Bill's” Depression Tonic—recommended for Passed Dividends ailing Margins, Itching Palms, Lack of Breath, “Home” Cooking and Hooking or Slicing off the tee. JUDGE PUBLISHING CO,, Inc. 18 East 48th St, New York, N.Y. Please send me.. -++-autographed copies of “Collected Drawings of Bruce Bairnsfather” at $3.00 per copy. 1 am enclosing $ Name..... Address..... WIGH HAT (Continued from page 21) but violated a “No parking” ban in the course of their felony. ‘They lef their car standing in a restricted s while they pulled the jot drove off without ever a ticket. Is that new ack Dempsey can’t sit still in a chair, making it crackle, sway look as tho it were going to col he’s that restless and pow'ful. He has a voice like a you-know-what, Goats are prohibited in New York City, last year over 100,000 were rgged into town, not count- ing the Wall Street varicty. Norman (Ballyhoo) Anthony aver- forty-five minutes’ sleep a night. The dodo who windows her form for Duhans Gowns across the street is back after a long vacation and has a new shade to her Squash, I mean garden, not 4+ ulled, has sex, and is male, female and indifferent. The latter is the when the plant produces a flower, but no bees being kind enough to cross- pollinate, no squash plant is produced. Matthew Vassar, who founded Vas- sar College (where good women walk on big dogs), knew so little about female attire, he put a bootjack in every room in the dormitory. Parlor Inane Te supreme test for a really weird imagination that out-perils Perel- man is the silly, goofy, ingless game of Time Exposures, invented by Bill (The Mongoose of the Movies) behavior by myself. The idea cr chooses (silently) a and by conundrum asks at ‘Time Is It?” Thus, Bill Hanemann says: “A doz- pund in Ireland. And when give up he sa welve off t’ tree (12 after 3)” Or, Bart Gray asks, “Peter Pan performed by ned animals. What time is it Elephant Wendy (11:20); or “An East Indian with his mother’s picture on his chest” is “Sikh's tattoo (six-to-two)”; or our classic: “A bust of the Emperor Jul- ian, What time is it?” “Half apos- tate” (8:30, Italian time). The thing has millions of possibilities; I'll print the good ones you send in; and I won't he responsible if you're considered Mattawancan material for playing it. And John McLaren wants you to y, “United States ndard ‘Twin Screw Steel Cruisers” very fast after a couple of drinks. —Juper, Jn. comicbooks.com