Judge — October 10, 1931 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

t f Ns F “Bad report card? Well, Mother, I got twenty in nearly everything, but the teacher gypped me out of it!” succeeded or fa ;? A.—If there are no cracker crumbs in the bed, I’ve succeeded. Otherwise life has been just a husk. Q.—What “qualifications do you think a man should have to be on the board of judges of the Edison Schol- arship? A.—He should be able to make gol- denrod out of rubber. Things Are Pretty Slow N° only has the depression hit 4 business, but it's evidently getting its hooks into current events, too. There hasn't been any real news for For instan Will Rogers hasn't arrived on the scene of any major catastrophe for over five weeks. No grandmother of 103 has come out in the defense of the modern girl since Labor Day or thereabouts. No man has bitten any dog since the Jamaica-ginger drinking fad passed out. No retired naval officer has offended the war department since Spain be- ne a republic and paper cups were called np s to the beauty of our countryside by the Anti-Litter So- ciety. Mussolini hasn't said anything about anything, at least, not’ while newsreel photographers were around. And, man alive, who can remember how long it’s been since the Prince of Wales fell off a horse! Speeding Up Business “Preztows, I'm afraid the public is beginning to grow impatient. We've got to improve our organi tion and methods. Every time w together we seem to do nothing but waste time, and that sort of thing must be stopped. Let's try doing things a little more orderly, First of all, we'll elect a chairman and sccre- 'y for cach meeting. The secretary will read the minutes of the last meet- ing. We'll discuss those, call for com- mittee reports, pass on any matters pending and then take up the question of w to do next. If we follow mentary rules and not all try to talk at once we can get somewhere and make a lot of friends. Believe me, I've heard a lot of kicks lately about the th of time taken out after every play for huddles, and J think should be the first team to try and get ‘em over with in five or ten minutes.” —Cuet Jounson Wire (returning from motor drive)—The car caught fire, dear. Abso- lutely nothing was saved except the book I was reading! comicbooks.com