Judge — September 26, 1931 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mr. Nap H. Boynton, Gen. Mer. G. E. Mazpa Lamps, Nela Park, Cleveland, Ohio Dear Mister Boynton: I am sending you here with a pictur uv your latest an best lamp agunt viz vrs truly an I am riting this letther Mister Boynton too give yu sum tips on lamp selling az I gess you don’t sell manny lamps over the counter like I do to Aunt Amelia Mellonbrook an th like who are tough babies to sell to becaws when I sez too Aunt Amelia you auto have these here G. E Mazpa lamps she says I kin buy bulbs cheaper an I says yeah and you can buy false teeth cheaper butt they dont cut so good and bee sides these here lamps whitch is called flame tinted will show up ver complekshun which Mister Boynton is like a Arizona saddel but she says tee-hee an dinged if she didunt buy six becuz she says she is giving a bridge part tho on whitch bridge she did not say and that Mister Boynton learnt me that flattery iz th best policy when you sell lamps what I meen tell um how mutch better Mazda lamps make things look, why they evun make a finanshul statement look good sez Banker Pappenfoos which I never herd him say one looked good to him since October 29, 1929, but any way Mr. Boynton you take my advices which I ain't charging you a cent for an have yerr G. E agents display lamps in there windows and awlso inside there stores and then flatter folks an tell howe good there complekshuns look under these here flame tinted lamps an howe good furniture an stuff on th what knott looks by these here other G. E. lamps becaws we all like to look our best Mister Boynton but uv coarse if these agents uv yours are dum and hide there lamps under th counter and dont say nuthhink about how good they make everything look why of course then them dummies aint going to get no place well az Iwuz saying Mister Bovn- ton you tell them what I sed about dis- playin lamps an about flattery becaws that iz what sells lamps or I am a peece uv cheese Hoping you are the same yrs respy Billy Britebulb JUDGE In Your Window Soon — Maybe The following item from the news- paper indicates how you may be light- ing your show windows in the next year or so. “Shop windows in Paris now are fitted with automatic systems for display lighting, which are oper- ated unwittingly by the passer-by as he nears the display. The system attracts wide attention, as the pedestrian usually stops to stare when a dark window su denly is illuminated as he passes.” Imagine the effect on any inebriated gentlemen who may be wandering home after-a convivial evening with the boys. It’s No Secret John Henry had a lamp display. 'Twas seen from far and wide. The people came with cash to pay For the lamps John didn’t hide. John’s neighbor thought it very queer That his lamps didn’t move. He kept them safely to the rear, Which only goes to prove— A lamp that’s hid is hard to sell, In fact it isn’t right, To make your patrons ring your bell And ask if you sell light. | Vy / uf LITTLE DRAMAS OF THE LAMP BUSINESS—NO. 1 The great day when the clerk tried to sell Mrs. Ritzmore a carton of six G-E Mazpa lamps and she calmly replied: “Why sure! Make it two cartons and send up a couple of those big blue ones to have on hand for the kitchen.” comicbooks.com