Judge — August 8, 1931 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“So you want to rent a horse, son. “Yeah—a good long one. Any certain kind?” Nine o° us is goin’! ” LAUGHING regularly comes from reading JUDGE each week. Every issue is a new and com- plete review, filled with smiles that run into hilarious laughter. SUBSCRIBE N JUDGE—18 East 48th Street New York, N. Y. OW Please send JUDGE for [] | year, $5.00. CO 21 weeks, $2.00. Money enclosed. to Name Address City eet ti errr 8-8-31 2 years, $7.80. | THE THEATRE (Continued from page 16) nett, W. Ludwig ham, James Joyce, Lewisohn, Aldous Huxley, George Moore and Bernard S 5. That society women who go on are invariably inst. neous As, for ex. Carter, Kitty Ch good, Ellis. Jeffreys, Elsie De Wolfe, Elita Proctor O mes Brown Potter, Lily I abeth Tyree, Hope W ng- illiams, 26. That a tomato juice cocktail will promptly cure one of an awful hangover. 27. That when you make a trip to Europe on such fast ocean liners as | the Europa or the Bremen, you hardly ake your hat off than you have to put it on again. 28. That all members of the late Russian nobility now in New York are to be found working at $ Teller’s or as Russian restau ks’, Bonwit- starters in front of ants. 29. That the kings and queens of | Europe can’t wait until Charlie Chap- lin, Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford come over so that they can entertain them. 30. That when Al Capone dies (note to printer: please watch tense) he will probably leave all his money to charity to prove that, after all, he was a much maligned fellow. 31. That William Randolph Hearst pays unbelievably large salaries to his employés and that if one of them is fired at the end of the first week he is therefore still about a year ahead of 32. That during the summer festi- val season at Salzburg the place is chock full of great art lovers who re- main aloof from the cafés and devote their days and nights to drinking in | Mozart. 33. That it is very American girl with a ve y for an o make a 34. That a young girl in Soviet Russia has a new lover every month, moves into her room s there gratis, and that if a y is born the government supports it and leaves the girl and her beau free to build dairies and bridges under the Five-Year Plan. 35. That all the English lecturers who come to America go back home with piles of money. 36. And that Nathan must be a fool if he thinks you are one of those who believes most of these things. EDWARD LANGER PRINTING CO., INC., JAMAICA, ®. ¥. comicbooks.com