Judge — August 1, 1931 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Why He Stayed Mik officer of the day entered a guardroom and found it empty ex- | cept for a private, who, stripped to his shirt and trousers, was lounging on a chair, sinoking a clay “Where's the sergeant of t demanded the officer angrily. across to the non-coms’ mess to | a drink, sir,” replied the private. “And the sentries?’ “In the canteen, sir.” “Then, confound it, what are you doing here “Me, sir?” was the reply. “I'm the prisoner.” —Toroxto Grose ‘Then there was the case of the show that was so that, after about ten minutes, a man cam and asked the lady at the box-otfice if she his seat to one behind a pi Duntww Orinion Extuvstastic Acext—Now, there is a house without a flaw! Customer—My gosh, what do you | walk on? —Awnwsavonis Loa Captain (receiving new middy): “Well, my boy, the old story, I sup- pose—fool of mily sent a “Oh, no, sir,” replied the “that’s all altered since your day. Parivixpen Heard On the Train “How's the stock market today “Decline was less than ten points. “Ah, a rally!" Bosvon Transenir A farmer once asked the editor of a country paper for advi as follows: “LT have a horse that at times ap pears normal, but at other times is lame to arming degree. What shall I do?” The reply came: “The next time your horse appears normal, sell him.” —ARGONAUT Mrs. Henpeck was going away for the first time in her married life. Mus. Hexrrecx—Do you know what time my train tomorrow ? Henprcx s, dear, it goes in 19 hours and 37 minutes. -Die Lustice Kistre A Russian was being led off to exe- 1 squad of Bolshevik sol- rainy morning. brutes you Bolsheviks are,” grumbled the doomed one, “to march | me through the rain like this.” “How a retorted one of*| the squad. “We have to march back.” | —Iowa Frivon | When the villain pursues the heroine, lean just that much harder on your WRIGLEY'S. wriGtey's doubles the thrills and intensity of any entertainment, and incidentally bene- fits your teeth, gums and digestion. INEXPENSIVE + SATISFYING ‘omp! THE 20 Bo 120 Boy 1440 Broadway. comicbooks.com