Judge — May 30, 1931 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WIGH cullid lady came in recently looking for a pair of black bloomers, After searching fruitlessly for same the la ttendance asked: “'C other n't you pos said the cullid pusson, “I’se in mou’nin’, an’ when [’se in mou’nin’, I mou'ns thru’out !” color?” yo ouse any ns Unimportant Items ues the Yankees play in New York and lose, W a red flag is flown from a atop the middle of the Yankee Stadium. If they win a blue flag is raised. According peanut Central k other. ‘The peanut vendors sell you peanuts which you give to the squir- els to Frank Hanley, the vrs and the squirrels in ve re in cahoots with each The squirrels bury them. it night after everybody has : home the squirrels dig up their nuts and sell them back to the vendors, who resell them the next day. I couldn't find out from Mr. Frank what they sell them back to the vendors for, but I take it for granted, for peanuts. Joe Cook's proudest exhibit in his New Jersey is baseball wounted on plush and under glass and deseribed as the only baseball in the world that hasn't been autographed by Babe Ruth, Seen on an employment bureau bul- letin, on Sixth) Avyna: “Wanted Three Magistrates. Nor was there iny tush for the jobs, as far as I could see. Phe difference Club and the sectors’ clubs. home a tween the Players’ Lamt roth leading is summed up this way. At the Players’ you overhear, “They (Continued from page 2) HAT tell me my lahst night's performance was excellent.” At the Lambs’ they Boy, didja ketch T Jaidem inna aisles!" say, me las’ ni’? Correction: 1 referred to a 1779 half-dollar the other de I am told there were no half-dollars in 1779. Am TL burned up with my ignorance! I've just heard of the meanest man on earth: He was a censor and he left a will with the provision that when he died he wished to be cremated and have the ashes put on a little boy's sled-slide. Hihattractions Smoking Allowed at Al Jol- TT" se The Wonder Bar.” ... Rob- bie, coon in the Umslopog who leads the the aas manner, cheering in) Ruthville r. f. bleachers at the Yankee St Mac’s compleat characteri ‘[ know of a guy who is such a chiseler he must have studied under Gutzon Borglum !” the . We calculus AMC. 6 ee checkers in Parker Bros. roll, sister to which is pretty n manner, a Terry Car- ney, just as lovely, Dinner in the robust, hearty manner, with Snooker afterwards, at Doyle's Bill iosrd Hall at 1456 Boway (and what is that game those members of the permanently unemployed play on the or, Mr. Doyle?) . . . Sibelius’ “The Swan of Tuoncla” as played for Victor Reckids by Lee Stokowski, the fierce conductor... . Fred Allen's re- ply to I. Klein when I, spies had detected gag-pilfering by Fred: “You ought to raise the sal aries of your spies!” —Juoce, Jn. Chei, or | claimed his | No wond you're ostracized We remember friends. you courant While everybody else is quoting from BONERS, the laugh hit of the year, you're still: playing backgammon. hope. And why ? er you when Now they've all “dropped You're just not au However, there's still Send immediately for BONERS and MORE BONERS Wit ireds_of tions by that “polygon” of ai Seuss Try itt You'll be the hit of any party with such as these, Boners “Ali crime was committ “An epistle is the et is the ass widow “A tarian A polygon is a “AX senator is hal “The chief exec is the electric chai “The future of “The wife ya means being away when the ed.” male turkey is the wife dead parrot.” lf horse utive of wy ‘L give’ is “Y: ofa duke is a ducky.” More Boners mark,” A cow is hurts ve nore.” dead than the tak use to how en up the petticoat “Chivalry is the attitude of a towards strange hy i they are dead One Bone for Many Boners PUBLISHING €O. 48th St IT know they are Ss: ays the postage. Enclosed $ Name Address City "5 national musical instrument is ab, son of Isaac, stole his brother's ‘Apollo was the king of table waters.” like a bull but a bull “Medical men have found that the re were,” cr se man asi “The function of the stomach is to hold f the virgins and other animals go Tye ‘ork City. hoor both Roners More Boners only $1.00 cach, owlers, and illustra- wife of an and half man.” Massachusetts you had rtists, Dr. ou take,’ ” e are who goes the popu- man sky where and Dr. comicbooks.com