Judge — May 30, 1931 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

You Who Are Graduating 1 ata year it is my custom to confuse the lads and who ha or more e completed four rs of cuff memo- randa, vampi and skippi fearless mess: rold professors, chapel, with a ge exposing what 1 really cold shoulder their en- suing World will have. My past messages usually advised the boys to become bond sales- nd the Is to have a x while, then set- tle down and marry and play bridge Thursdays. That sort of message didn’t take much thought and it was surefire. But with conditions as they are now it would be a dirty trick to tell a lad to go bond-selling. The graduate of this month, 1931, is faced with a real prob- Jem. It’s all very well for highly gassed commencement orators to say ?ut your shoulders to the wheel of progress and roll strenuously up the hill!” This year it's pretty hard to find a wheel to tuck the old shoulder against. There's plenty of hill, though! Personally, graduates, I think until conditions are better and business opens its arms a li'l wider, you ought to take a rest. Go touring or some- Have you ever been to Cali You ¢: ‘n’ sunny get a swell tan in a coupla weeks, Or you could go to Reno and get a job as a messenger boy delivering di- WOR ADDRESSFS, ||| AMOMERTOUS MESA? | “THE MORE oR LESS SWEET GRADUATES! vorces. The tips are gc always a chance of grabbing off widow. Or you might get dad to write one more check, just enough to finance a submarine expedition to the North Pole. It takes a long time to get a submarine expedition under way. Look at Sir Hubert Wilkins and his North Pole Expedition, It took months to even think up a name for the boat. Preparation for a submarine expedi- tion n be stretched over any number of years. Lots of things can be found wrong with a submarine. I mean you could think up technical excuses to hold things up—the public knows very little about a submarine gener- ally. About the only practical tech- I cality the public knows about a sub- rine is that a submarine can navi- gate under water. Il betcha, with diligent thought, a submarine expedi- tion could be held up twenty or twen- ty-five years and the public would still be on edge. And there you are —after twenty or twenty-five years of Polar Submarine Expedition prepara tions the public would begin thinking you'd really been to the North Pok und you could gradually sto) bout the expedition and pret ty soon the thing would be forgotten and your time after graduation would have been taken care of. The point I'm dinging into you, graduates, is that I think you o to stall along for a while and not do thing at all, In fact, you might ain in school for a few more years until conditions aren't so cock-eved and business comes skipping back from where it went, around the corner r Eye-Queues TRAIN is operated by three men Smith, Robinson and Jones. They are fireman, engineer and bra an, but not respectively. On the train are three business men of the same names, a Mr, Smith, a Mr. Robinson and a Mr. Jones. Consider the fol lowing data about all concerned: Mr. Robinson lives in Detroit. © brakeman lives halfway lv tween Chicago and Detroit. Mr. Jones earns e¢: year. Smith beat the fireman at billiards The bra n’s nearest neighbor one of the passengers, earns exactly three times as much per year as the brakeman. The passenger, whose name is the same as the brakeman’s, lives in Chicago. The question is: Who is the en xineer? There is absolutely no catch to this, but I warn you it's a dinger. Get your wits razor sharp and remem ber your logic, children. A DETECTIVE sees a into a res' ant. 1 fellow orders ham and beans. coffee and apple pie, and after cating them leaves a ten-cent tip and departs. How does the dick know the chap is a sailor® comicbooks.com