Judge — May 16, 1931 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WIGH LAT (Continued from page 1.4) a store and purchased five apples and gave an apple to each of the three mothers and cach of the three daugh- ters and still had one left over for himself. How come? Last week’s No. 1: The deceased farmer didn’t dispose of his entire estate in his will, the one-half, one- third and one-ninth allowing for only seventeen eighteenths of it. Hence no proper settlement, including the ex- ccutor’s hay-wire one, could be made. No. 2: Fifteen boats Apology: That confounded Birth- day Party Eye-Queue has brought a rm of letters proving that I was right in the first place and wrong when I fell for Miss Morey’s objec- tion, It seems when you reach fifteenth year you're really only : brating your fourteenth birthday. Therefore, if two guests didn’t ap- » that would have made thirteen ble, including the girl who gave ty. I would try to lie off by claiming the whole thing was a hoax to catch you, but besides being a stu- pid fellow I'm an honest one (hats | off, men), and besides my readers aren't so terribly dumb. Anyw sorry the whole thing came up. how are you today, Miss Morey and Parlor Inane Nowarp the shank of the evening, when lights are low ale is flat, there is nothing like in strong with your host by suggesting a few tricks with eggs. What does it matter if you drop a few on the rare | old bit of hand-woven Turkestania ? So now what? You've got the eggs and you're waiting for instructions. Listen, then. Get the cook alone in the breakfast nook and ask her to hard boil one for you, then let it cool off. Take the h. b. one and place it with about a dozen others (in their pristine | state) in a bowl. The gag then is to bet the boys and girls present that they can’t pick out the hard-boiled one. It's almost impossible to do unless you know the answer, which is | really quite silly. You sce, mes en- fants, a hard-boiled egg will spin like a top if you give it a twist. Plain old hen fruit waddles from side to sid and gives up with a feeble roll. It’s as simple as all that. Sensation number two is to show the mob how to balance an egg on its thick end. All you have to do is to shake the egg very, very hard. ‘This breaks the yolk inside the egg and enables smooth surface. Well, if you haven't been kicked out by this time don’t blame me. Ever ready to please, I will now divulge » i'm | it to stand up better on a very | another show stopper. Take a thin ne-glass and dry it very carefully, paying extra attention to the brim; it must be dry. Then fill the glass with water. To the accompaniment of sundry drum rolls and mad flag wav- ing, you may take twenty quarters drop them very gently in the water edgeways. Altho the water will come above the brim, it will not flow over the edge. This is because Cohesive Attraction is greater than Attractive Gravity, or something like that, and don't say we didn’t tell you. Down With Capitalism! A“ right, you and you go around making long faces at hard times. Personally, I'm having a great time, and I'm sure it's the best thing that’s ever happened to our great country. And I'm not dealing out a Schwab prosperity ballyhoo, What I'm trying to say is that a nice, peaceful quictude seems to have come over this New York of ours. I noticed it only the other night. It struck me the high-pressure tempo has been taken out of things. Go-ghettoes have run down. I wires have lost their juice. The voi of Babbitt has dicd to a low mutter, gratifyingly indistinct. The nervous hop, skip and jump of the business day has slowed down to a ter. What does it matter if 1 paid only 5c last year—as long as there’s enough around to go into golf shafts? Who cares if Wall Street brokers go up for a billion dollars? Money's only and a pair of dice’ll ame thrill as playing saun- Further, I've noticed people linger longer in the speakeasies talking things over. Things look rosier thru the bottom of a stein. Two hours is taken for lunch as against the former indigestible fifteen minutes, in which one closed a contract for a million- dollar order for imitation wax fruit to adorn a million mission sideboards of the Middle West. Ex-bank presidents (Continued on page 22 Q.C.f& motor cruisers are sold by the following distributors: Albany, New York East of Amityville, L. I. Babylon, Long Island Boston, Mass.— Chicago, Illinois Cincinnati, Ohio Cleveland, Ohio Detroit, Michigan = Galveston, Texas—— Hartford, Connecticut Huntington, Long Island Newark, New Jersey Newport News, Virginia New York, 217 West $7th St. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania San Francisco, Calif. Syracuse, N. Y.- ‘Washington, D.C. L.R. Mack, Inc. Harold's Yacht Basin ‘Wayne Frost Atlantic Radio and Marine Co. Ward A. Robinson Ohio River Motor Boat Company N. J. Shea Leonard H. Thomson, Inc. -Robert Sealy F. W. Williams, Inc. Chas. A. Gould, 2nd Griggs Sales Company ———C. P. Amory a Marine Salon Harris, LeRoy & Clark John G. Rapp Corporation Syracuse Motor Marine Corp. Stanley H. Horner, Inc. AMERICAN CAR and FOUNDRY COMPANY 217 WEST zw S7TH STREET : NEW YORK CITY comicbooks.com