Judge — May 16, 1931 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Fifty-fourth Street Guards! I proprrp into Mac's studio the other afternoon. The studio is a cross between the Penn Hotel lobby and an unsuccessful, unclaimed-furni- ture bazaar. Over in a lost corner is a drawing board, where, perhaps, he makes his drawings. Across the street from Mac's place live all the Rocke- fellers in several houses. Mac has been trying to scrape up an acquaint- ance with one of their butle: If he can do that, Mac says, he can walk through the big Rockefeller house from 54th to 53rd Street to Tony and save that long hike around Fifth we and along 53rd. And in attempt to meet a Rockefeller butler hangs this tale. It seems the Rockefeller ménage is patrolled day and night by point-duty guards. Guards who are pretty tall and agile-looking and furtive of eye. At first glance Mac mistook them for sauntering unemployed. Came his day, 's JUDGE of course, when he set out to mect a butler. He practically had his finger on the button of the Great Doors when he was seized from behind and set off skiddingly to- ward Fifth Avenue. From then on Mac did considerable glaring at the Guards from the opposite side of the street. And his ob- servations are interesting. He said he'd never seen the changing of the Guards afront Buckingham Palace, London, but he imagined the ceremony was quite as sombre. At the murk of sunset the Rockefeller Guards meet along the great iron fence amid boxes of bloom- ing beautiful flowers and change to the evening patrol. The ceremony goes something like this: “Hi, Joe! Whatsa good woid? Annyt'ing happen t’da: “Hi, Steve! Nu happened ‘cept a guy wid a lotta hair and a soaped mushtash tryin’ t’ ring d’ door- bell. Thought cha'd never show up, Steve!" “Yeah-h-h? Lis- sen, Joe, I ain't so interested in dis job as I If I don't gitta raise I'm gonna grab an offa I got t’ guard J. P. Mor- gan’s. It’s a betta job. I gotta chance to walk darn near two whole blocks guardin’ Morgan's. YNOR, MAD MAGICIAN Oe PARR, BELITHES SACELAS Ey! IG WAT Wotta we git in walkin’ heah. Coupla hunnert feet mebbe. An’ I got dang sick smellin’ theez flowehs all day.” “Lissen, Steve — you betta stick widda Rockefellies. They sell erl! Morgan’s a Wall Street guy. One more bump and he'll be guardin’ his shack hisself. Then where'd ja be? You'd be walkin’ wit’ nuttin’ t’ guard!” “Pst—Joe—heah comes John D. You open the cah door an I'll pace back 'n’ fort!" Mr. Rockefeller steps from his car, looks around to sce if all his houses are still there and disappears behind the Big Bronze Doors. Steve says, “So long, Joe. Watch out for d’ guy wit’ d’ so: mushtash. I think he’s aftah d’ flow . Steve goes Sixth Avenue-ward. Joe paces the iron fence. NeDoI, fu PeT From Mac’s studio window drifts soft, whistled notes of Wagner's “Er! King,” and the fascinating ceremony of the Changing of the Fifty-fourth Street Guards is done. Eye-Queues A noy pays $1 for a hundred pieces of assorted candies. Some arc 5c each, some are ,2c and the rest 10 for 1c. How many pieces at each price does he get? A man walking down the street one day met three mothers, and each mother had a daughter. He went into (Continued on page 17) comicbooks.com