Judge — April 18, 1931 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 5. ET *Y AM heart \\ eng B\\e N With a Ping and a Pong Ne of the highlights of the recent ping-pong tournament, held at » Pennsylvania Roof, was the radio to keep his hed its axis and his tongue greased as he announced the seription of the final m between a Mr. Svigals and a Mr. Schussheim, the two finalists. by-pong de- If memory serves me right, here's an impression of the thing: “Svigals to Schussheiim, Schuss heim to Svigals, Svigals to Sehuss heim, Schussheim to Svigals, Svigals to Schussheim, Schussheim to Svigals” and so on till the tongue grew thick, the eyes bulged and Sehussheim served a snappy, short) shot) that sneaked the spheroid safely across the net and skidded it skitt ways off the table edge. it on your sibilator. ly side- The Parlor Inane is week's contribution to salon sophistry: Take a Cel- lophane-wrapped cigar and bet someone you can stand on it with all your weight and not break it. Sinee the thing is air- tight, you'll collect. Nor will Cel phane-wrapped cigarettes be harmed. Who'll volunteer to try it with a car- eggs wrapped in the stuff? ae \WHEN CHARLEY SR ADAM TauGHT ME AHS POFLE ing “RICK AND | FAVE \GST EVEN BY RETURNING chief “WE BoTLE ——>—EmpHy |! During the recent Camel Prize Competition a girl of my aintance stood me up ona date. Unfortunately her door way open when I called to double-cheek on her defection. And where was she but in the kitchenette boiling a package of Camels to test the insulation qualities of the new Cellophane, by the way, eaten, a wine bottle by the thumb four more fingers of the same Wrapper. hand, holding the bottle close to the cork. Then without tipping the bottle or using any up-and-down ixuling, work the fingers along the ttle so that you eventually are holding it by the base. By the way, it's much wiser to try it before emptying the bottle. Bet someone you can stand on the same hand- kerchief and let him swing as hard as he can, yet he will not be across threshold of a 18 ONE-WAY SREETS IN “HE _GARMERT DISTRICT! — RR PDE STRAND! door, so a half is on cach side. close the door and let him swing. You! Griffo could do this without the door. but then you're no Young Gritfe, It you lose, of course, the loss ean be de ducted from your next income tax Eye-Queues A peru of woman-hating yptian priests came to one of the Pharaohs and complained that since the face of the recently complet ed Sphinx resembled a woman's, th: thing should be torn down, The Pha raoh refused their request, pointing out with pride “Here is one of the seven wonders of the world and you would have me destroy it to suit a foolish whim!" What's wrong wit! the story? An argument came up as to whe was the world’s greatest) population destroyer. One bet Attila athe snghis Khan; another Napoleon: her Von Hindenburg. But on: named someone who had de stroyed one-fourth of the entire popt lation of the world in his time. He won the Whom did he name? A sold i i a five: bucket and a. seven-gallon one. and told to go down to a river and bring r gallons. How did he mana without any sort of measure other than the two buckets? (Continued on page 25) comicbooks.com