Judge — April 11, 1931 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHICH KiqD, MADAM? TOOTH, — FACE, GUN, Bi ug ?. >? English on the Ball lortNeM aNd Mason is here. children, it’s not a little bit of merric Albion trans- planted to Madison Avenue. For years all the country Vicars, Poona Polo Players, Assuan Dam Builders and other far-flung outposters of the great British Empire have written to Fortnum and Mason's store in Picca- dilly, England, for their cheeses, tweeds, plum-puddings, toad-in-the- hole and bubble and squeak. And now, in response to many re- quests on the part of our Anglophiles, we find a branch being opened in the territory hitherto sacred to Sherry, Schulte, Woolworth, et al. Inciden- tally, they say Big Bill Thompson did not do any urgent requesting. The front of the place is uphol- stered in a nifty green and guarded by a stern gent in green liver: Mons medal and an East Ham The windows are a treat. Against a background of grained something or other we find Peach Blossom Honey from Smyrna, Darjeeling Tea, Golf Brogues and mother-of-pearl handled bootjacks all cheek by jowl. Inside the air is thick with English accent—all ready to be cut and wrapped up. The ele to you and you and the : And if you ask for Kan- garoo Soup don’t be surprised if they hand it to you calmly. The most fa- No, circus, merely mous crack about the place in London was that delivered by a clark to an old woman who came in and asked for powder. “Which kind adam,” begged the k, “fa gun, tooth, or well, it’s all veddy nice and English. Now_ it’s up to us to send over some- thing typically American like Hubert’s Flea Museum to installed on the London Mall, Or how about Ye Olde Wind- sor Castle Hot Frank Stande? Eye-Queues Fre men sat down to play, n Irishman, a Scotchman, Swede, an American, and a VA “GIANKS, SUMOR, FOR “EACHING MET TEAR A Wi Sree —Reeiell Jew. They played stead- for five hours and ly quit. When they reckoned up they found that no one had lost any- thing, no one had broken even and they had all made a little money, What had they been playing? Several weeks ago I ran a certain eye-queue and answer in which a Miss Morey has been smart and cruel enough to point out a glaring error. (And what a dope I turned out 20 way, here is the original problem and answer and I am giving it agai n entirely new problem, being a provident fellow at heart as well « cless one: irl reached her fifteenth ded to have a_ party, allowed her to invite guest for ¢ ur of her age. She sent out invitations. All epted. But the day before the party word came from two of her guests-to-be they had been taken with the nd would not be able to at- cordingly, the little girl's parents cancelled the whoopee mak i Why? The little girl’s parents were su- perstitious and called off the party rcause there would have been thir- at the table.” d the fla wast week's replics: In the first, it year and de Her parents being winter the water was frozen and when the fellow fell off the bridge he broke his neck. In the second “One word” can very nicely be nade from “New door.” The Parlor Inane campaign to make parlor life in America more hideous with tricks. These are some handy strongarm stunts you can perform to make the company wish you had sat down at the piano instead: Bend your arms sc to touch the (Continued on page 25) A NEGRO Go“ CLUB IN NEN JERSEY! comicbooks.com