Judge, 1931-01-31 · page 8 of 36
Judge — January 31, 1931 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains two distinct elements: **"Bigger and Better Similes"** (top): A series of comparative phrases mocking various topics—mountains, plays, Havana conditions, speakeasies, senators, and champagne. These appear to be topical jokes referencing Prohibition-era culture and contemporary politics, though specific references are unclear without dating. **"People Are Crying for Work"** (bottom): A satirical dialogue between unemployed workers and a potential employer, illustrated by a figure on a bridge railing. The exchange mocks the vast gap between job-seekers' desperation and employers' unwillingness to pay reasonable wages. Workers accept near-slavery wages while employers demand unrealistic conditions. The cartoon critiques both economic inequality and labor market dysfunction, likely from the Depression or post-WWI period, though the exact date isn't visible.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE Bigger and Better Similes Te mountain was harder to get up than three tables of bridge The play was as dull as an ice-pick in Havana. Changed more often than contract bridge conventions, She was thinner than a plate of quick-lunch consommé, A sardine can that can be opened quicker than a new As welcome as 4 Colder than yes As much chanc More noise t F He was knocked flatter than a glass of home-made cham- pagne. “Oh boy, if | only had my watercolors!” People Are Crying for Work “Fs inset are you paying ma’am? Only a hun- dred and twenty a month? Well, I'd be willing to cook for that, but of course I can't be expected to wait on table. What? Only Sunday and every other Tuesday off? I couldn't do that, ma'am. And no movie theatre within three blocks? Well, I'm sorry, but it wouldn't be worth my while for that price.” “Sure I'm a painter, but I can’t paint your house for no ten bucks ay. That's ridiculous. Well, naturally you'd have to supply the paint and brushes. I'll tell’ you, mister, I'll make you a rock bottom price of fourteen dollars a day. What? Well, I'm sorry, too, but I'd rather wait till I can get decent wages.” “Well, ma'am, being unemployed, I'd like to make some cash washing up your windows for you, but I can’t be bothered doing it for fifty cents a window. Why, that's slavery, that is. Besides, I don’t like to work more than a couple of hours a ds sorry, ma’am, but I'm a union m: I ‘t work unless I get my r seventy-five cents.” “You want me to mind the kids in the afternoon? How many of them? Well, two’s an awful lot, but of course a girl like me has to make some money these days. How much are you offer- ing? Oh, I couldn't do that for five dollars an afternoon. I never heard of such a thing—and me not liking Soromon—Now for ae children, anyhow! Ne, 2 coulda 001 ibis. wa . think of it, times is too bad. I'll wait as a ca till I get something better.” —Parxe Cumminas comicbooks.com