Judge — January 31, 1931 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aa Sufficient Grounds ‘Qer here, Mr. Karapookoulous, why tire the best coffee-maker the Ritzbilt Cafeteria ever had? Just be- cause he forgot to put in the strainer and the grounds got in the cups, isn’t areal good reason. After all, he’s an old and has a big family to sup- port, and jobs aren't so easy to get these days! Put yourself in his place! Think of the poor old duffer, fired after thirty years of faithful and com- petent service—all because of one un- fortunate batch of muddy coffee! It's cruel! Have you no heart? “I'm sorry, Um terribly sorry (gulp), but there can't be any sedi- ment in this business!” Cycle The vacant lots which became min- isture golf courses are now miniature golf courses which have become vacant lots. According to been around; one girl in the arm is worth two in the rumble seat. collegian who has Definition A diplomat is a newspaper photog- rapher who, when he's posing the President and his Cabinet for apie ture, knows which ones to seat and which ones to tell to stand in back of the chairs. “Keep your eye out for a sapphire ring, will you, boys?” “Times are terrible—I tried three banks today and they'd all closed!” What to Take for a Cold Te first tra vice; the v n South; nobody's ad- k off; another quart from the bootlegger; seven dollars’ worth of aspirin; an apartment by yourself; another bale of handker- chiefs; lessons in si nguage; abso- lutely nothing for granted. While we heartily agree with the idea of giving work to the unemployed by constructing highways, we still think it would be swell for some of thei to look for parking places. And if Gov. Roosevelt wants a thorough investi gation of New York City he should turn the job over to the tab- loids. sea The trouble is | when writer's cramp attacks newspaper columnists _ it usually attacks them be- tween the ears. comicbooks.com