Judge, 1931-01-31 · page 12 of 36
Judge — January 31, 1931 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Judge" Magazine: "All the Answers" (c. 1920s) This satirical piece mocks the American habit of greeting strangers with tired, repetitive questions ("Is it hot enough for you?") and proposes absurdly elaborate or dismissive answers. The main cartoon depicts a U.S. President being made "Big Chief of the Flat Foot Indian Tribe"—a reference to the era's crude racial caricatures and the condescending treatment of Native Americans. The caption sardonically elevates this ceremonial "honor." The article's recurring punchline is "Nuts!"—suggesting that when faced with inane social questions, the best response is to dismiss them as nonsensical. This reflects 1920s-era humor valuing wit and verbal sparring. The cartoon critiques both shallow American social conventions and contemporary attitudes toward Indigenous peoples, using exaggerated stereotypes typical of early 20th-century publications. The advice to answer "In your hat!" offers mock-earnest solutions to meaningless pleasantries.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE ALL THE ANSWERS Wier this country needs, aside from an inexpensive but satisfactory smoke, is more and better answers. The language is becoming overburdened with questions. Every- one you meet asks, in salutation, a question, And you can never think of the proper reply. Therefore, taking it for granted that thousands of other sad souls are in the same fix, I have spent quite a little time perfecting answers for inane questions. Here is the result of my preliminary research: Question: Is ir HoT ENOUGH FoR ¥ This greeting while fortunately limited to the summer months, is particularly obnoxious. ‘The usual replies, “I'll say so!” or, “And how!” are lack-lustre, especially when re- peated two or three hundred times a week. I have had some success with answering “No,” and hurrying but, after prolonged study, I have evolved the following reply, to be used on all occasi “The temperature at B: ali- fornia, at 7:03 this morning, was 125, in the shade; at Yuma, aa _ “Am I proud? An 8-pound boy at 10.53, and _ : right on schedule!” Arizona, 128; at Palermo, Sicily, 12+ and igon, French Indo , 139; you ———— you!" Question: How tiey cosuxa? in his valued “Gibes at in this case the simple 3 While I agree that this response effectively silence the sker, I must point out that it often leads to fisticuffs and is not really an nswer at all but just another question. The following succinct reply usually stupefies the asker, and allows the askee a chance for dignified escape—“In a column of sq companies left front into line, reg s right by battalions, on the double!” Question: Wuat’s THE Goop worn? The authorities offer many suggestions here such as “Bible,” but the most satis y and the one favored by Graiche is “Nuts!” Question: How Try breaKkina Pernkins’ ridiculous answer, “Ask me another, be dismissed imme as lacking th. Likewise G : uts” fails to satisfy. ly makes the astounding assertion (see “The Retort Discourteous,” pp. 78+, et seq.) that “Nuts” is the per- fect answer to all these questions! And I understand he has lately picked up _ quite a following. All I can say is, that BIG MOMENT IN THE LIFE OF A U. S. PRESIDENT the answer which gives a maximum of : He is made Big Chief of the Flat Foot Indian Tribe pleasure to the askee is—“In your hat!” 10 comicbooks.com