Judge — January 24, 1931 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE It’s All Done With Glasses Wis that booksy old wag, Ted Sh made some crack the other day in his column about the powers of Indian Fakirs to stuff knives thru their flesh, stay buried for nine days, ete., being “nice Oriental parlor tricks,” little did he know about it. For [ heard of a wild party in the Oranges recently that sported a real Fakir among the guests. He was a quiet fellow who was obviously not having a very good time, but not showir By and by one of the drunken guests approached him and_ started riding him about the miraculous pow- ers the Fakirs are supposed to have over the flesh. “Why,” hiccoughed the skeptical pest, “if you have these marvelous powers, don’t you use them to drink with? What harm can liquor do you?” The Indian calmly replied: “It would be dew aning my sir!” powers, “Aw gwan!” the s, p. went on, “liquor’d affect. you like anybody else.” With which the Fakir picked up two tumblers and a bottle. He poured off equal shots, filling the glasses right up to the brim. Handing one glass to the other, he raised his own and drank it off ata gulp. The other, when his mouth closed, took a healthy swig but couldn't make the glass, Whereupon the Indian took his APAT GRS WHO SIT ON 4 7A 0 WNIOR SEEMS EB KNON SOMETHING T SDE glass and polished that off too. By and by the drunk was sticking pins into himself and not feeling it. The Fakir spent the rest of the eve- ning singing “Sweet Adeline.” Eye-queue I Mave the highbrows the other night (all except the one in green). It was at a Columbia University party and they sat around and played I. Q.s. You've got to mind them, too, to be good at the game. It goes this You tell an ancedote to the as- sembly. It contains one glaring mis- take. The one who picks the flaw first is the bright boy or girl with the Big I. Q. (Intelligent Quotient, rons.) Some samples: Am in the back of the church wait fo his wife who is singir the choir. He is dreaming of the French Revo- lution. Just as he gets to the actual illotining his wife taps him on the back of the neck with a ou mo- n's asleep glove. He falls over dead. (It actu- ally happened in Pennsylvania.) t's wrong with this picture? Roman piece. One of Caesar, the other bore the B.C. He refused to Answers next week, ide bore buy. Unimportant Items Orvtive Theatre stands a brok down bookie, w in high s\ hat, a mothea astrakhan collar, and selling apples. When last seen he was wowing ’em for a finish. Rubber checks can be bought (drawn inst the United States Bank) being peddled by sardonic hawkers all along Mister chell's Broad- the Pal- abby I Miss Curtis, one of filmdom’s lone women producers, tells the tale of how she tried to peddle the sci to Ralph Connors’ famous novel Sky Pilot.” The flicker sates aay MayBe THE BisHoP KNEW *WEST WIND” thumbed down on it for a long time. At a final conference, however, the boys argued pro and con and swept off their feet by the recent success of “Hell's Angels” and “Dawn Patrol” decided to make just one more flying picture and bought it! You can buy an ele tach: rie light which will heat your auto oil on cold mawnins, Despite the terribly 1 taxi newer ric heater at- ble to your rd times the companies continue to dump more luxurious cabs on the streets. Incidentally those nickel knickknacks and side exhaust tubes mean absolutely nothing on Five-Boro taxis. What a phoney age! Charley Caldwell, noted Yale foot- baller and baseballer now runs a lunch counter in New Haven. The wealthy old professional! If a girl enters a cab and sits her- self on the left side it means there nothing doing. So gentlemen, puh- leese! In the lobby of the Globe Theatre along the Chiselers’ Chasm, and just to give the customers an idea of what's ahead of them, hangs a gold- and those comicbooks.com