Judge — January 17, 1931 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ladies, Puh-leese! L" week I laid plans for finding out what the Gentlemen of 1931 would be like. I could hardly insult the opposition sex by overlooking what they were like and here is an at- tempt to do so. The only prize I offer for this will be her telephone number. Will the Lady of 1931 return the ring when she breaks off the engage- > Will she hide coyly behind or tap you significantly on the arm with it? Will she carry her own? Will she be mental, psychic, emotion- al, dumb or will she listen to reason? Will she sing the choruses in your ear while danc Will she run up bar or food bills? Will she smear lipstick over everything? Will she affect a Hoy voic Williams slouch, a deep bass Mary Pickford coy or an Eva KNOW JUNIOR WANTS ii Uy LADY WILL HIDE i JUDGE liffere spend more time at S. ce? Will she aks Fifth Ave- nue than at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the beauty parlors. com- bined? Will she pull hair in cat fi at the swankier night club? Will she admire ¢: army rhters? Will she go in for chivalry or will she Will she Le Gallienne i drunkards, pe men, business men or prize- open her own taxicab doors? want to be chased or will she do a Helen Kane after you? Will) she smoke on the streets and roll her own? Will she have a couple, then kick off her shoes and want ¢ » ice-skating down flights of stair: Will she be carried out of speaks? Will she use the words “Ducky.” “Mahvelous.” Too Cute for Words,” “Sophisti- cated.” “Perfectly Frightful” and “If You Know What I Mean”? Will she make her arm imuscles twitch in pub- lic? Where will her waist- line be? Will an ordinary arm fit around it? If so, how many times? Will she be effeminate? COILY BEHIND AFAN RSMEAR LIPSTICK AL R ENER THING, fe) V HOPE So! AN' I Hope SHES A HAIR-MUSSER Y IN ATE See How They Run! Greanixe of the prevalent bank runs, there was a bank down Texas way that found itself solvent but without all its funds avail- able, Caine the run, he depositors were paid off and, curiously, as) fast as cach was paid off he made for the bank across the and deposited there. s soon as the first bank’s cash gave out, its ly sneaked around the back door of the other, bor- rowed a basketful and back to serve the cl: rs at the Paying Teller’s! P. S.—It all came out even in the end. Society News Me: Jiaay Warker, the noted walking haber- dashery adverti ent, wears a hat with a curly Lrim that looks like scalloped edges. And how does he manage to keep out of Winche Bill Hanemann’s toes turn out in the most unsocial manner. Peter Arno collects old gas jets and ix making himself into a public char- veter by in public, Mr. Sid Lenz and Jefferson Mac- out to embark for France respectably—L mes They will’ play a game of Camelot by wireless from their re- speetive ships’ bars, using glasses for gesturing unconventionally hamer are and Havan spectivel re men, Kd Graham has a fine new mous- tache. Father and child are doing well. Georg an Nathan likes’ senti and has a fine collection of plain and cutters, The Gateman on the 4: Grand Central Station for Ma- hopac is an old futz. He scems to be the only one in New York who obeys the early closing law. Knife Trick I™ the soft kind who falls for all clever advertising (bat Lord de liver me from the extra-clever) like to go on record that the’ Inn over at #11 W. 24th Street, in Old Chelsea, performs a very cunning little trick. If they I they will send you mental dog cartoons ey cigar leaving name with the inscription on the b . Pre- pare Vegetables? E , ete.” Also with this knife penny with the suggestion that i ‘you're superstitious return the penny in per- son and cement a friendship.” Should you be that hard-up that you keep both the knife and the penny—well, I be your hard luck. ‘Fhe food is excellently simple and cheap. Last Year’s News xp here are two Christmas flower stories. The first’ concerns a sweet old gentleman who entered the Western Union office and said, “Do you send flowers by wire? I just comicbooks.com