Judge — October 18, 1930 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

x the once simple days of living even tent show had no other business than’ entertaining — the multitude. There were nomadic young ladies who followed the adventurous caravans and gentlemen who could make the little pea roll over and play dead for them, but these side-show ittractions were not forced on the pul You paid your money and took your choice. yen today when you go into a theatre you can’t be rea- sonably assured that, talented or ham, the actors paid to entertain you are not going to step before the footlights and in a loud voice say: Lucky Strik ive me a or “I read the Daily Mirror every morning, my dear Lady Whiffenfox.” However, the movie owners have greatly claborated this business of entertaining the public, and their ring-around-the-rosy tactics defy all the laws of economics. For instance, I recently sat through two short movies called Vitaphone Vari- eties. In the first one a man named Jim Corbett was lecturing a group of chorus girls who were exercising with dumbbells. A Mr. De Wolf Hopper, after an elaborate introduc- tion, entered. Mr. Corbett told Mr. Hopper he was exercising some dumb- bells. (Laugh one.) Mr. Hopper then met each lady and got off three or four tten by the au- thor of the immortal dumbbell epi- gram. Then Mr. Corbett and Mr. Hopper, ifter shaking hands and bowing be- fore the camera for fiftcen minutes, went to a place called the ‘Artists’ Club.” ‘There they were joined by Damon Runyon and Mark Hellinger, who, I was informed, are columnists for Hearst newspapers. These gen- tlemen then passed complimentary re- marks about cach other. A young newspaper man came in to interview Mr. Corbett. He claimed he had never heard of Mr. Corbett, Mr. Hellinger, Mr. Runyon or Mr. Hopper. This imused the four great men until they learned it was all a gag. The gentle- some JUDGE By PARE LORENTZ men then left the club, and a caption announeed the entertaining fact that Mr. Hellinger writes for the Daily Mirror. Second example. Mr. Walter Win- chell appeared in a sketch, during which some girls were thrown out of a boarding school for usin y jargon. He met the Je a speech about Broadway), ter cach buxom young lady in had told him h much turn wanted to meet Mr. Winchell, he dis- she covered their head mistress among the prisoners taken ina whiskey raid, and blackmailed her into reinstating the young Iadies—a rather bald presenta- tion of the mysteries of the columnist’s life. A caption then announced the fact that Mr. Winchell writes for the Daily Mirror. Now I paid eighty-five cents for a seat in the Winter G. in order to see a movie called Office Wife.” I had every the movie would be tiresome, but I’m paid to make sure about such things. However, for two cents I can read the columns of Messrs. Hellinger and chell. For fifteen cents they can copy of this magazine and read my criticism, But I’m damned if I can any reason why anybody should have to sit in a theatre and Recommended Dough Boys"—The only good com- ‘many months. Buster Keaton t sing once, cither, Het's Angels"—The Canadian cen- sors said this reflected on the Royal Flying Corps but what fault it has is not in the air, “Lincoln” —D. W. Grifith and D. A. R ‘are: fully done, but “Old Engtis ecuted by Georg: “One Embarrassing Night"—A lady: like English comedy with two corking tomimists making it a good show Storm Over Asia”—Worth a dozen epics by virtue of its in The usual Russian propagand: c of a story to help y of All Men”. was a bitter plot direction and wors it has a plot, az novelty. ing. 1 that makes OVICS oP) look at my seems to face, as appealing as it nd listen to me talk about myself simply because 1 should happen to write about the movies, sports, or chorus girls. The producers, of course, aren't worried about the audience. Either the Warners are in- terested in the Daily Mirror and wanted to do it a good turn, or Mr. Hearst is interested in the Warners and wanted his boys to n the movies, or clse the Messrs. Winchell, Hellinger, Corbett and Hopper are old pals of Messrs. War- ner. It’s all very confusing, but under no circumstances could either sketch be called a show, an entertainment or anything but an advertising stunt and a most tiresome one at that. t a chance “Pur Bap Man” is a good Christian story about law and order. ter Huston, who has taken off Lin- coln’s pants and put on a sombrero, is a bandit who takes his fun and his money where he finds it. He raids a ranch and is called upon to make Solo- monic decisions: the ranch is owned by a man who once saved his life. There is a minor villain ready to fore- close the mortgage, @ villain who is willing to buy the ranch because he has discovered oil on_it, a girl who is married to the villain, but in love with the ranch owner, and a crippled old man, the comic, who wheels up and down the set, saying “gosh-darned.” Anybody who had read the rules of the Hays office would have known what to do in this situation, and Mr. Huston, somewhat hampered by his Spanish accent, soon does the work. He shoots the husband. He returns the mortgage to his friend. He gives his friend a lecture on love and pre- sents with the newly widowed young lady. Then he goes out and gets himself shot just to prove that true love pays a better dividend than Latin exuberance, It is all very up- lifting. but I hope that Mr. Heggie, Mr. Huston and Mr. Rennie never get in a decent stage show comicbooks.com