Judge — August 9, 1930 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Yon YONSON oF Biv iMINY, SWEDEN,,THE ] BoY WITH THE JEWS-HARP NOSE, PLAYS EVERY KNOWN TUNE BY EAR. Prot. Helysmcke, of Moron University, has calculated if the total minutes saved in one year by shovers in the New York Subway were added together the result would be .cooos3 Seconds. Red Raspberries are green when they are blue, purple when they are green, and yellow when they are red. BELIEVE THIS — SEND IN YoUR IDEAS. FOR “DONT You BELIEVE IT weir Pay $1°° EACH > For Atl hose _ ACCEPTED. OF Que’) CET RIC QUKK Albert Eftsoon of, Yap, Indiana has lived on @ diet of dynamite for eght years. He leads a very quiet hfe. “My yacht sank off Fire Island last week. in Wall Street, and my wife disappeared.” “Tough break for you.” “Yeah, it sort of throws me off my game.” 1 dropped fifty thousand The Accident Just After It Happened ly sorry, old chap—all my 1ess I was going too fast— it'll teach me a lesson! Name's Jones let me have your address—got in- surance—you'll be paid! One Week Later “Dear Sir: about the my insurance company. Sorry to bother you been talking with As a matter matter of form—at what speed were you traveling when we hit? [ though I was on my own of the road ve avoided me? ged more than | ours sincerely, J.J. could you possibly I Y Jones. Two Weeks Later “Dear Sir: car suffered Have discovered my ked frame. How re- hts been tested , prior to accident? Had you been drin at all? Did it not occur to you while driving that another car —iny car—might be around the curve in the opp rection = Sincerely yours, J. J. Jones.” Three Weeks Later “Dear driving How long had you been ar prior to accident? Were you as far over on your side of the road as possible? Believe you could ine had you been Kindly fill out enclosed nicand return to James and James, jawyers, “Yours truly, J. J. Jones.” Four Weeks Later “Dear Sir: Your testivnony shows that you were execeding Yhe official state speed | Do not wish to be disagreeabl pout matter, Am en- ing itemized bill for damages to Will consider matter ¢losed pt of cheek. Yours truly, J. J. Jones.” 1 Five Weeks Later “Dear Si It has now been ove a month since you deliberately 14? into me coming around a turn at nig}t- I have received no reimbursement ‘for damages sustained to my car. ‘The fore, on the basis of reckless drivi-™ speeding, improperly adjusted he #d- lights and crowding on your part I starting suit for $10,000 immedi I am doing this upon advice of la and as a warning to drivers of yo who imperil the lives of innocent citi zens of this country. Yours try J.J. Jones.” 1 —Invine D. Tressir?® comicbooks.com