Judge — July 12, 1930 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Attractive Elephant for Quick Sub-Lease By S. J. Perelman A, roast Long Island apology with 4 applesauce is due to those of you who sent in letters last week offering to sub-lease the rear-admiral adver- tised in Jupce. Through a mistake of the printer's, the advertisement read “Reliable elephant rear-adm for immediate sub-lease months” instead of offers ndy was ffers roomy summer le rear-admiral elephant, ete.” N incensed than the elephant, you may be sure, for who wants * con- fused with a rear-admiral af- fair took a tragic turn which all of us who knew both will deplore; I myself served as second for the elephant in the duel between them yesterday morning on the Palisades. They fought with the buttons off the foils and it was no cinch to sew them back on again after the combat. I rode the clephant back to town afterwards, the naval officer following ina paper bag. He had no statement to make to the reporters. As Rover (the elephant) is still on my | a tenant has already two chande four wall-brackets. and a hall-boy, I am disposing of him at five dollars a roomy more JUDGE “There ought to be no poor, we guys should be rich, an’ the rich guys poor like us! month to any clean family who would like to see life through a tusk this summer. He contains four rooms, fireplace, and has several cots in his leg. 1 call your attention particularly to the kitchen- ette, which has two bay windows. a wood-burning But Rover is no mere apartment. Hardly—he is a friend and a com panion, ever bubbling with fun and on the alert for a romp. He is a hun dred and seventy-four years old, and as dainty as a débutante in regard to his person. Only this morning 1 found him down behind the slattery. snuffing pitcously on a pile of sls yes wore a haunted look. “Why are your Rover?” I soothed. “T don't) know,” he — moaned “People keep on moving out of them, claiming they're troubled with spectres! They say chains clank. sheets rustle—sh-h-h, here comes Ed gar Wallace It was indeed the noted author who had just turned the corner of the slatte eyes haunted, eltzer,” he addressed me, doffing his hat with a small metal “Pardon me, doffer. “Have you seen a ghost around here within. the last few minutes?” [ hesitated and exchanged nees with Rover. Who's that?" demanded Wallace gruffly, pointing to Rover. “Er—uh—he's the boy from the . I said feebly. “He came for the curtains, no kidding, Mr. Wall a ner’s,”” Seltzer!” cried Wal me by the collar. (Continued on page 27) » here violently. se THERE'S A LOT OF BLACK SPICKS BEFORE MY EYES! COMPLAINED THE CLOWN Why not spend your next weekend at my livery-stable in Detroit, just you and I and my “What's the matter, conductor, why are Fred. “There's a red-headed dope in th at signal- tower and water at the roots, barber, I’m off to court the widow Dostoievsky. 10 stopping?” plagued an old prune. “I'll tell you, ma’am, wo cows, Selfish and Bossy? drawled Fed-up can't get the engine to pass him!” A dash of Florida comicbooks.com