Judge — June 21, 1930 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Statistic If all the Rudy Vallée mash notes were placed end to end there would be enough mush to feed the starving Ar- menians for twenty years. It seems to us that what becomes of old safety razor-blades is that the corner druggist slips them into the packages of new ones we buy. French scientists are puzzled by a girl in Bordeaux who sobs every time she hears a joke and laughs at any thing supposed to be sad. ‘Sallright. girlie—we've been listening to the same radio entertainers. And, then, of course, inevitably, there will be the cop who will be knocked down by r while handing a summons to ay trian for cross- ing while the lights are against him, Obsolete Similes As sober as a judge. As modest as a débutante. rich as a Wall Street trader, sensational as Sex. inaccessible as a speakeasy. ugly as Sin, Member of Scotch Anti-vice Society protesting against the use of —STANLey S. Scunetzver Highland window-cleaners. Epitaph for a Cut-Up “The Life of the Party” we called him Whenever a party was thrown He brought rubber mice, told fortunes with dice Or sprayed your Is : When cocktails were wanted, he shook the When music was wanted, he played When parties would drag he'd spring a new gag Or start on a Frigidaire raid. One night in a penthouse apartment This Life of the Party we loved, While doing his act was swiftly at tacked And out of a window was shoved. His soul swiftly soared up to Heave The gates of St. Peter flew by Where cherubim now acclaim him a wow— The Life of the Party on High! PONCE ae -Antuve L. Liveaany Irate Hovsenorper—There’s a burglar in this house, @ hold-up Laundries are great labor-savers. going on out in the street, and a gang-fight at the corner, When you get your things back, you Cor—Well, I can't be everywhere at once! don't have so many buttons to fasten. 15 comicbooks.com