Judge — June 14, 1930 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Why I’m Washed Up with the Bench (Continued from page 8) in the cellar. Then he ties a string to their noses and attaches the other end to my bed-post.” “Your bed-post?” I stammered. “But you don’t live there any more.” “No, I live here in New York,” ad- mitted the gent. “That don’t: worry Dr. Mi an—he ties the string to my bed anyway. Then he jerks the string so T can't sleep. T want an in junction to make him stop.” I hur- riedly summoned Miss Pardee again and we escorted the inyomnibus to the clevator, but as there was no car there we threw him down the shaft. Well, I thought I'd better ts t little vacation to rest my nerves, so I threw some clothes in a bag and taxied to Grand Central. [ had just b a ticket to Atlantic City when ¢ hardly knew invited drink. I remember having seve then there was a blank sp way, the next thing I knew I woke up in a hotel; all my clothes were gone and a large police dog was licking my face. The worst part of the whole thing was that the dog was a light green in color. There's the whole story in a nut shell, I hope it clears up the clouds of slander hoveling about my good name. If wants to practise law with a string of veiled cuckoos and phonics with cotton um- brellas cluttering up the office, I'll sell them my practice, with Miss Pardee thrown in, for five bucks. I’m through. Whoops, My Dear! Dartmouth students are wearing short pants. ‘The faculty is now in doubt whether to give the boys diplo- mas or hoops. —N.Y. Sun The novice at trout fishing had hooked a very small trout and had wound it in till it was rammed against | the end of the rod. Pupil—What do I do now? Instructor—Climb up the rod and | stab it. —Patton’s Montuty The revelation that there are 1,250,- 000 correspondence school students in the United States shows mendous need that Maine filled when Rudy Vallée into the ether. —N. Y. Heratp Triwuxe Senators are complaining that the new dial telephones annoy them. They get their heads caught in the holes. —N. Y. Sux LE MOMENT TERRIBLE (THE TERRIBLE MOMENT) If when traveling, you are surprised in a litle pie-nic (pronounced peek-neek) by madame (the wife) . . . quelle affaire . . . be nonchalant... Gu T \ MURAD PRONOUNCED PERFECT BY DISCRIMINATING SMOKERS Tue Mooi travel fund? ERN Kin—Hello, Auntie, will you put something in my When I get enough, I’m going to run away from home. 31 comicbooks.com