Judge — May 24, 1930 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE The Morning of a Modern Farmer 6 A.M. Awakened by motorist from Rhode Island who wants to pur chase a new inner tube. 7 ALM. Vuleanizes a tire. 8 A.M. Drives tow car seven miles up road to bring in the remains of an carly morning wreck. 9 A, M. Sells five hot dogs, three ice cream cones and six candy bars to party from Pennsylvani 10 A.M. Designs miniature bird houses for sale to the tourist trade. Receives two oil salesmen, Buys new line of spark plugs. Takes inventory of candy bars. 11 A.M. Sends hired man to near- est town for twelve quarts of milk. Repairs nickelodeon in lunch-room. Tightens fan belt on sedan from Cincinnati. 12 M. Gets morning stock quota- tions on radio. Sells a pennant to kids in a Philadelphia flivver. Pumps ten gallons of gas into a bootlegger's truck. Makes and sells a hamburger sandwich. Gives road di ions to several lost tourists. Makes himself a Western sandwich for lunch, Modern Justice Then there was the thug who hit a citizen over the head with a bottle and got arrested for possession. “Yessir, Joe, I'd be single today if I could scare up the jack to —R. C. O'Briex get to Reno.” Doctor Ditties The Neurologist _ YReck to When all's not right beneath the Heavens, And you're at sixes and at sevens, And friends insist you make a tryst With some renowned neurologist, He thumps your knees and if their action Displeases him, with satisfaction He orders you to cease your worry, Forsake financial fuss and flurry, Give up the strain, the stress, the strife Of commonplace commercial life. No doubt his counsel is well meant, But landlords won't take that for rent! Since neurasthenic ills are not For him who has to boil the pot, Be bright as Whalen’s gay gardenia And let the rich have neurastheni —Artuur L, Lippmann “Am I in time for the 2:18?" “No, ma’am, it went at 2: 15 comicbooks.com