Judge — May 3, 1930 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE The Higher the Fewer [ wes't terribly impressed when J.P. Morgan launched his 1930 model Corsair. Mergers making mil- lionaires of us all, « Midas with a yacht is as common as a Bayonne tk with a 1919 Ford. Furthermore, in a few years, owning a half doz Hispanos, a quarter of Long Island, trel at Harvard and a Tiffany charge account will not be high hat at all. These will be the ordinary comforts of life and decid- edly middle class. To forestall that condition and to devise a new way of becoming the cream in the high hat, I've worked up a few suggestions for the future multi-billionaire for whom, if he follows them, Tiffany's will be a Woolworth counter, the Mercedes- Benz a station wagon for the third cook's guests, K George a movie usher and the Social Register an ordi- 'y phone book. My ten-galloned high hatteer will own at least five thousand miles of strictly private railroad, connecting with fore ports by a flect of super- Bremens. Three zeppelins will be kept at advantageous points on the globe, always ready. His town house will be the Museum of Art, a little interior decoration mak- ing it livable. His coun- try estate will consist of a thousand-mile chunk of northern India with pri- vate tiger hunting pre- serves and maharajahs as houseboys. The estate would be used for wi ends, direct from Wall Street, where a zeppelin would be moored atop a 200-story . building for just such service, and so forth. This list is far from complete, but some- a plane, a w cy AIG time I will work it all out. And by the way, there will, of course, be a harem, After Orfice Hours When your busy wakes up after a hard day’s tapping on the con- boss ference blotter and disappears sub urbsward, put three ottice desks to gether, stretch a ping pong net over the centre and get to play. The new desks with the smooth rubberized surfaces are the best for playing and I can guarantee the best game of celluloid-swat yet. If you aren't blessed with that sort, get his favorite scerctary to whisper into his executive car have the ping-pongy kind installed. comicbooks.com