Judge — April 26, 1930 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Weekly Minutes of the Pratt Street Bird Study Club By S. J. Perelman Mar Cuamwoman, fellow mem- i“ bers of the Pratt Street Bird Study Club; IT am sure that all the members will be very much interested in the minutes of our preceding mect ing, which took place last Tuesday at Mrs. Denzi r’s lovely new home on Evans Avenue. As you all know, Mrs. Denziger is the founder of our little group of bird-lovers and has known and loved these tiny feathered war- blers for years. I venture to say there is not a bird in our growing little cor munity of Paisley who has not felt the caress of market. Paisley % Phyllis Some of you may even h the birds sneaking in the back way after Denziger goes off to his meat Of course, T wouldn't think of mentioning this if everybody wasn't talking about it ready, and I'm sure if I were Ed Den- r I wouldn't let that Phyllis pull the wool over my eyes, but then wh can you expect of poor old Den 1 often say he can't sce what's going on right under his own nose. Of course, I really don't mean right under his nose, though ge JUDGE Den: bothered by the sun. BA \vil iger’s hand. e noticed dness knows you could pitch a tent under it and never be As I said to my husband only last night, “That Ed | WAITING FOR THE FAST MAIL (MALE) | Stop sprawling on all fours on that fives court; you've got me all at ay I steal a,kiss sub rosa, dar- sTHoRPE: “It might be better if you stole Come on, Fanny, give them the ha-cha-cha with your Dasiinea Carp: Onive Oa sizes and sevens, ling?” O« it sub nosa! “I'm Cooking the One I Love for Breakfast.” 8 Denziger'll never get lost; all he has to do is follow his own nose.” Fred said, “What do you want to do, keep turning summersaults? Fred is always cracking jokes; 1 tell him he should be on the stage. But I suppose the reason Ed Denziger never anything — is wrapped up in his business. Of course. that’s what some people call it—busi It must be a pretty interesting business that keeps Ed Denziger hold ing that peroxide blonde widow's hand on Sprowl Street. Personally I don't care to pry into other people's affairs, though if 1 were Phyllis Denziger I'd put a stop to it, drinking that way in the middle of the afternoon and dane. ing the bunny hug. However, I sup pose she’s so busy with her birds, poor sees because he’s se ness. soul, she never notices what's going on around her. But getting back to our last meet- ing. All the members were very much interested in Phyllis Denziger’s new home, though Mrs, Waldman showed me where the dust hadn't been swept out from under the beds since they moved in, They have a lovely new radio, that is, they had it last ‘Tuesday if Mr. Fussfeld at the furniture store hasn't taken it out since then; he told me they've missed four installments on it already. ‘That's what spending all your money on bird-seed and blonde widows, if she really is 1 widow, but I dare say there's a hus band or two knocking where, and some fine ¢ ting a bullet into that Ed Denziger, It’s things like that give the town a fter the way the men working in the Chamber of and Rot getting the here to comes of round some he'll be put © convention have r shooting bullets at peopk gambling, it’s a disgra to the rest of us. I for one don't want to buy my t at a man’s store that drunk and chases customers around with a cleaver. And then, just be I didn't pay the meat bill on the first of the month, sending me a snippy letter threatening to sue for the whol: four months’ bill! Believe you me, 1 him a piece of my mind. I said. “Well, Ed Denziger, I'm one of the few people left that would still trade with a man that is never in his shop, and drunk all the afternoon, holding blonde widows’ hands while their wives are feeding birds that climb in the window after he’s gone to busi ness!" And I would have told him a few things if I wanted to be a trouble maker, only what is the sense of stir ring things up between husband and USC (Continued on page 27 — comicbooks.com