Judge — January 18, 1930 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Happy Sick Man Dr. Johnson peered deeply down into Peterkin’s throat. ‘Bad tonsils,” said the doctor. “Probably a point of focal infection.” Peterkin’s face lit up. “S said. “Delighted to hear it “You also should be told that your heart is irregular and much too fast.” “Tickled to death,” said Peterkin. “There's a spot of congestion in your right lung. gh that off.” “Suits me,” said Peterkin, “Any- thing else? eM! he ell, your kidneys are none too good and I am afraid that your ap pendix must be removed.” “Great, doctor. You've given me a Of course, your company will not delightful surprise. insurance accept No, my friend. You're a very bad “Will you put that in writi “Lm perfectly willing but I don't hy you want it.” I can get some work done in the office. I'm going to frame your certificate and hang it right out front whe ery insurance solicitor will see it —Artiuce L. Lippmann JUDGE us Fairy Man—Is there a doctor in the house 7? Dora's N.Y about th noises. cousin is worried mpe She's b gns to do away with n studying for three years to be one and was to get her diploma at the hospital next June. And organizing anti-noise societies seems to be the latest racket. A Little Matter of Etiquette “On de left, Willi “You're all wet, Rat be right. “Left is proper, Willie.” sen, Ratface: Dis is Noo Yawk, Mebbe in Chi it should be left, but in Noo Yawk it’s right, see?” “Betcha two gran’ yer wrong, Wil- lie! Call up somebody an’ find out.” “Gimme dat phone, Ratty! . . en Five Hunnerd! . . Hullo! ... Is .. Yeh, say gimme an settle a brawl about ett Yeh, dat’s right! ... Sure, I'l w by!... Hullo! . say sister I want youse to It should see dis Vani somebody wot - Yeh. imme de woiks about gettin” us out of a jam on ettiket, ... It’s like dis: * Willie, see? An’ we're arrangin’ to t'row a feed t for a magistrate, an’ during estivi ties t'ree or four of our boys is gonna barge in wit’ machine guns an’ chop down a guy. . know, sister—just to make everyting proper, see2—is dis: Do we sit de detective, who is to be de marker, on ht or de left goin’ to git choppe ‘m Gashouse Now wot we wanta dis baby wot is —Curt Jounson “TI did, Doctor; I just wanted some one to hold my hand while you gave me the ether.” 1s comicbooks.com