Judge — December 28, 1929 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WIG 1000 Resolutions a Minute Yor 1930 I, Juncr, Jr., fuse to listen to talk ab market. . . with gel will re- pout the - Quit going out drinking one thing atta time will be my motter.... Make no new debts3 square no old ones (Hehe Deal from the top of the de Open a barber shop, so’s T ean “Chez vous.” 2... Pass a hh). wee 1 it jaw mak ing it compulsory for debbies to keep their stockings taut, .» Be nice to Peggy. Shoo all Noo Yawk p'li toy bulldoggies off the sid » hosses and old ladies with ulks. ... Establish speakeasy shelters for p'licemen’s hosses, too, during the cold spell. .. + Refus breaks. H. to pay in if the Noo Yawker runs dowagers “Do gypsy?” .. moron... saying: «++ Discover who first hoiste and how he t ast 5 urn Julius; where Jimmy W. what they a Algonquin for Childs’ "s old enough to take care «+ Leave parties when the hostess passes out. . these Sue Edna Ferbe Knock the boop-oop-a-doop out of He Pare Lorentz of himself now. . Write any more drawings of fatty carrings make me look r for having once called me a n Kane, d Helen Morgan on a piano; crockery Irish musical-comedy tenors the 7 real identity of Or . Burn all novels mentioning huberts. . has a special p'lice escort and op the words “I May Be Wrong, but—” as a preface to marriage ceremonies. Catch Jimmy Savo's act regu- larly and cultivate EF Newall, our American callow Lillie. ... Write no more doidy woids on walls... Shoot haberdashing young clerks who say, “IT wear ‘em myself.” . . . Walk to work regularly (from the office ck vator).... Solve the whimse rpacn n common to sports wr a Subscribe to at least two book-clubs and set up a shelf in the bawthroom, Listen to the life stories of no Alimony Alices in speak- . Endorse no cigarettes or mattresses with Elsi -de-Wol f-from-de-door. ot eat any = more kers in bed (without Camembert)... . Not be ashamed of my luggage, the blonde in particular. ... Lead with my left... Make up no more Dorothy MacArthur Wooll- cott Cooler stories. ... Lift and let lift every possible « Pay no quarters to ele who smirk. ... P May no snooke r with Carnegie amateurs, 2. . Avoid saying “Let's get married” within ten miles of Greenwie . Give up the trombone, moonlight waltzes and black Belasco hats, Keep very young ladies outta my hair... . any more a street-car. sereen stars East for flyers in vodv more games of chance with one “Stinky ing mone Not parlay it waiting for ring ex-silent xe in no JNIOR 'N' 1 HAD 'N'AWFUL MUTUAL MAULING e WON Oni FOULS BEEN A REFEREE) - WHAT RESOLUTIONS 1TH HE OUGHTA MAKE Tor "p30! HE LISTENED To MY SUGGES™ AND THEN HIT ME! | DON'T “TURN “THE GTHER CHEEK PBCHISE LKNEW HE'D GRAB THE CPR “UNITY —So | STARTED RUNNING AND WHILE | WAS RUNNING J HAD Some PRETTY AASTY TouasTs) ABOUT HiMs —1 DECIDED, BET: 1 RAN A MBE,THAT 1D Go AKEAD AND DRAW WHAT | 5 OUGIT NOT Do IM 130 AND “TURN JAI “THE DRawaas) “fo LA FOR HIM EDIT THEM SAYING ATPIPY IS KER-RAZY TH Mest HE REAL REASON BEWG-WAT FRANK WOATT LET HIM OUT UNTIL LGET” “WERE % HELP PROMSE HELL PAY “HS CHE SOMETIMES / > eM) DETER AND. PEANY= MATCHING OBLIGATIONS WITH ME! | wre HE'S Gola CUT ONT AT eck et OF LEGERDEMAIN HE “THAKS \S SOFUNAY, HE PUSHES MY HAT DOWN OER MY EYES AND TELLS ME UNE DISAPPEARED! BAH! % SOP SFADIN' ME % StaGe DooRS INLD ALLEYS WITH NOES! (HE WONT SEND A WESERY NON MESSENGER BECAUSE HE'S: ATRAD THE GAL WAL ALLER THE UNIFORM!) C yuNnor, \F Youll qu’ YEED THESE HINTS ILL RE YA PAL F'EWAMOS ee 3 Be SP ~~ Ss BE Nae A DeArE Wn Pere] NGESING TS HH comicbooks.com