Judge — December 14, 1929 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Iss to ne nid | ne un le al ht | k: id | a | tid oy ra lk | le | 1 | it i- | ) ) | Christmas Statistics (For the Humorous M There will be 20 parodies begin- ning “ "Twas the Night Before Christ- mas and All Through the House.” Several thousand jokes will be writ ten referring to what a rotten time Father has on Christmas. 860 jokes will refer to Christmas neckties, azines) He won't belong n —Fraxk MeFrarrens, Pittsburgh "31 There will be 11 cartoons illustra- ting Santa Claus caught in flagrante delicto with the coo There will be 300 articles written contrasting the rich little girl's and the poor little girl’s Christmas, with 299 of them showing the advantage of the latter. 65 Christmas Lists will be written, en. nyse Driver—Mush! Mush! Lost Exprorer—Fer Gosh sake, with us starvin’ you'd have to yell that! —Wintiam Dwyer, Yale ’31 JUDGE with suggestions for gifts for various cclebrities. 5 jokes will be written in. which Claus is confused with the boot- There will be 289 articles on what happens to packages marked “Don’t Open Till Christmas.” There will be innume entitled “Christmas Statistics. —Articr Sinversiatr, Harvard '30 ble articles “WwW ride “No fooli: “Well, that all depends on you.” —Rarru C. Suareer, U. of Washington ’30 ‘re going for a nice automobile “Love me and lave me,” sang little Patrick, as his mother dropped him in the bathtub. —Hat G. Westwone, Harvard “How is it that Bill was expelled from college so soon? L thought no one was dropped before Christmas.” “Oh, the Dean decided to do his Christmas dropping early this year.” —Antivn Sinversrarr, Harvard °30 “That girl is skinny Listen, Joc. People don’t use that expression in the best places.” “LT know, But that’s where skinny.” —Rareu C. Siuarrer, U. of Washington "30 Mush! BEAVEN “°S my story an’ I’m gonna stick to it!” Prankiin N. Beaver, Wabash '29 Talkie Theme Song: “Mutter of Tyson ALLEN, U. of Chattanooga "31