Judge — December 7, 1929 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Just Another Sea Story Built by Gurney “Bilge Water” Williams Rigged by George “Poop Deck” Lichtenstein r’ve got to stop knitting sea yarns because people tell I me they're so realistic that they get sick reading them, but I must tell you this one even if it a nausea, It's the pitiful story of a grizzled old sea captain who was a coward. Some people said he was craven because we was alw. ys craven to hide when danger threatened, but you don't have to believe that. His name was Ezra Bellbuoy, inventor of the well-known “Bellbuoy,” who was de: of the nded from that famous explorer and discoverer ific Ocean, Bellbuoy. Ezr: small ketch, which, as you know, has a mizzen mast; so a sailed the seas in a called because after the first ketch came out of a bad storm the mast was mizzen. His was the best ketch of the season and he was famous as a ketcher, having played that position with the Tigers in 1903. He had a bawdy crew, as fine a bawdy of men as ever sealed the sails said the seals—oh, pshaw, let it go. Anyway, it was a crewed ship. In the year 1539 or 1728—I don’t reeall the exact date —Ezra and his fine ketch, the “Five-Pound Trout,” set saib for India with a cargo of feathers for the Indians, and what befell him and his crew is horrible in the ex- treme. (In the extreme East, I mean.) According to one member of the crew, the captain was afraid of eve thing. He refused to exer » his prerogative, claiming lel ows a “*Swine,” explained the captain—but the girl was insulted. he didn’t have time, and when the wind started to blow he'd retire to his cabin, much to the disgust of the men. “Look at that,” the first mate would spit out viciously, “a gust of wind comes up and he gust to bed!" “*Yeah,”” the quartermaster would growl, “and every time we keel over he thinks we're going to get keeled!" Such was the attitude of the “I'm tickled pink,” said the ee Cap, exercising his prerogative. Then came the cataclysm that brought disaster to the craft. Late in January a typhoon off the Indian coast carried away the jib. “Jib, bring an extra sail?" shouted the captain, “Yeah,” up?” “Tack it,” shouted Ezra; “how do you expect to nswered the crew dully, “but how’ll we put it sail a ship without tacking?” “We don't know,” mur- mured the crew sheepishly and jumped overboard as one man, (As one man commanded them to, I might explain.) Several di fast—by starting the engi later the deserted captain made the boat and stepped onto the shores of India, where he was met by a bevy of nauteh girls in native costume. His crew had arrived earlier, and the appearance of their former skipper filled them with dis- may. Ezra had brought a jug of fire-water ashore with him, and as he gave each girl a drink the mutinous crew eyed him enviously. “There he goes,” they muttered, tightening them up, nautch by nautch.” But the climate of India gets a white man, by gad, and it got Bellbuoy and his crew. In two months they be- came raving maniacs, and today you'll find them in Holly- wood writing theme songs and dialogue for the talkics. Their ship, which now rests on the shores of India, serves as a boarding house and the people who live on the right side are known as star boarders and those on the left are porters, but the whole thing is bunk from beginning to end. comicbooks.com