Judge — November 16, 1929 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fairy Tales A Broadway Biography i ver to grays ticket ney where its and quiet and we can be alone and i will unravel a story about the white light district known as broadway now roger you stand out there in the rain in line and when you get to the what say lets nic JUDGE ble if the show y the time your turn comes and now how put it kids well once upon a time i walked into the astor hotel lobby and it was so empty i got ed and when i walked around times square i didnt run’ right smack into three wise cracking stenographers linked arm in arm or a coupla sheiks w strictly dishono’ is still runnin, grover whalen wasnt there with a traffic plan and when i tried to cross the street nobody blew a whistle and had me arrested for j walking and the ushers in front of all the movie palaces said plenty of seats inside and the show will start in two minutes not forty five and they didnt herd the crowd behind ropes and the uring buck- advertising people were giving d hair and ‘ for electric signs free > and no boys hollered counter ask for two seats for skin shoes and gre: a read mister or gimme a nickel fer a cuppa coffee and there wasnt an acroplane over- head flashing thrills and causing people to.trip up over the vaud- vil teams standing on the corner out of work and underneath the main stem a lady didnt wander } four miles before she found the interborough up town express and a lad from pelham found a shut- tle waiting at the platform when he got there and i didnt have to tun to catch it and knock over a fella looking fer the down town b m t and everybody on the square looked as if they were go- ing places to do big things and not just wandering around to de- liberately block somebody and stare at passers by and’ crack wise and after the theater a thou- sand men didnt wave nes and gloves and holler hey taxi taxi and a thousand stenographers didnt plead to go to a night club and go boop boop a doop and eat chop suey and buy ette holders a’ foot long and teddy bears twenty dollars wide and now i sce you little darlings are all splattered) with mud and pretty well mashed up so lets all get off broadway and go some place quieter like a boiler factory where you can get a good nights u S rest. Jack Cheerr Py. No Time to Walk | | | I HAVE BRIGHT’S DISEASE 72"... | t _ AND HE HAS MINE, SOBBED %.."""%"* ee THE PANTING PALOOKA “Nobody knows the trouble * laughed the automo- » adjuster he | Pull in your beak, Durante, or some housewife'll be stealing it to considerable | stamp cookies with. “Does this parrot swear, my good man?” prattled a female poison in a pet-shop. “A little bit, mum,” par- “And I'm the guy who put the ried Mr. Pickerboom, “but he never shoots crap or goes out with que in waiting,” hissed the box- chipp Just shot through and through with quiet wit, and office man as he polished his nails ie || you're probably hoping the same for the author. behind the closed window. | | | aa L_ 7 ; : : | L { i 4 qj . i | comicbooks.com