Judge, 1929-09-14 · page 11 of 36
Judge — September 14, 1929 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several satirical pieces typical of 1920s-30s American humor: **"The Perfect Defense"** mocks absurd legal arguments. A defense attorney argues his client is "hopelessly insane" by listing impossibly virtuous driving behaviors—never speeding, never honking at girls, always stopping for pedestrians. The joke: proving someone is a perfect driver proves they're mentally unfit, deflecting from the actual charge (bank robbery). **"Not Such a Long Trip at That"** jokes that old-fashioned marriages lasted "at least until they get to Niagara Falls"—the traditional honeymoon destination—implying modern marriages are even shorter-lived. **The pickpocket cartoon** shows a cop warning a pickpocket not to use a cane in crowds, apparently because concealing stolen goods in a cane made the theft too easy. **"Many are the Inconveniences"** sentimentalizes tourist camp discomforts. The Alakazam Hotel cartoon appears incomplete but shows a manager greeting a guest. These pieces satirize contemporary concerns: traffic lawlessness, declining marriage stability, and petty crime—all presented through lighthearted jokes typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE Cor—Say, what's that? Pickrocket—Just a cane. “Well, don't let. me catch you ina crowd with it!” wasnt covered with horseshoes for good luck and squirrel skins and dried cars of corn and hogs were hogs not hawgs and the farm ha no mortgage on it or advertise- ments for carters little liver pills and farmer gray had never grown the largest punkin in steuben county or the tallest stalk of corn and when the bad boys tried to steal his apples he told them to stop instead of shooting them in the seat of the pants with rock salt and now its time for hitting the old feather bed up over the chicken coop so young ladies and young men all hands around while i give you a parting imitation of a hog calling contest through rudy vallees megaphone over a nation wide hitch up —Jack Crverr The old-fashioned girl used to swear under her breath whereas the girl of today doesn’t care who hears her. This is, of course, the Bolder Dam project we've heard about. The Perfect Defense “Your honor, I will prove that my client never drove more than 20 miles an hour in a 20-mile zone; that he laughs good-na- turedly when passengers in his car tell him what to do; that he never tooted his horn at a pretty girl; that he always stops, beams and gives pedestrians the right of way; that he never tried to keep h a fire truck; that he al- the car runs better after his wife has taken it out for the afternoon; that he never has passed an arterial-stop sign nor tried to beat a traffic signal; that “Just a minute! What has all this got to do with the charge that the defendant robbed a ik ?"" our honor, if I can prove all those things, will there be any doubt in the jury's mind that he is hopelessly insane —Cuer Jounson Not Such a Long Trip at That An old-fashioned marriag one that lasts at least until they ra Falls. is 8 jf ju N Qule). Hote Manacer—Oh, hello there, Mr. checking out? Many are the Inconveniences We are camping tonight at the tourist camp; pillow, please, Our weary forms a place to stretch, And room for both our knees. Many are the backs that are ach- ing tonight, Waiting for the tour to cease, Many are the hearts that are longing for their homes, Where they can sleep in peace. —R. C. O'Bries 2 Oo co Co oo oot oo 70 1 co co co oo 9 eo = Beezly! Are you 1. ro a aro ts eo 4) nT tm ‘omicbooks.com