Judge — August 10, 1929 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Perfect Alibi Magistrate—Where were you at the time the burglary occurred, madam? Agitated sound Old Lady—1 asleep in my bedroom. And so were all my guests. was —Answens Gilbert Swan reports the one about the celebrated violinist who was urged to play his fiddle one of those snooty affairs ¢ on Park Avenue. would you want?” they asked him, a hundred dollars is my she replied stiffly. YF course, you said the hostess, not mingle with the “Oh, in that case.” was the re- tort, “I'll do it for four hundred. —New Yorw Eventnc Sex “How much p understand,” that will guests.” vou An Eastern ruler has a sword- lower permanently on his ff to entertain him. And by this method he can easily dispose of his old safety-razor blades. Loxpox Opinion Sw: “If T work late at night,” says a novelist, “I invariably have diifi culty in getting to sleep after wards.” It is only our desire to be helpful that makes us suggest that he should try. re what he ding over f- —Henonisr as been writ “I've been trying to think of a word for two weeks.” “How about fortnight?” Pranson’s The waiter who turned “Say, guv'nor, I’m 'ard hup. Yer i stick orf me, would yer?” “Have you any extrava- gances?” “Yes. I wear a@ tie under my beard.” —Krov Hans (Denmark) puldn't like to buy this —Evenynopy's Werekty Teacher—Make a__ sentence, using the word pseudonym. Johnny—When Baby starts crying there’s no pseudonym. —Dvatw Opinion He—You colour. You have a marvelous must have walked quite a distance to get that. She—Yes, our local druggist doesn't keep it. —ANswers “Hans, did you hear the step- ladder fall?" “Yes, mummy. “I hope daddy hasn't fallen.” “Not yet—he is still hanging by his waistcoat to the picture hook.” —Den Lestice Sacus Lei ‘9 toring is said the first man, “mo- great thing. I used to he sluggish before the motoring but now I'm spry and en- “IT didn’t know you owned a ear,” remarked the other. “I don't—I dodge.” —Pranson’s hen there was the case of the man who was so lazy tha ricd a snub-nosed girl she was easier to kiss. —Dveattw Opinion he mar- because comicbooks.com