Judge — January 1939 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I'm glad you ashed me “I'm glad you asked me about that. I re- signed from that job with old Wingate because I refused to work for a man who wants a pack of yes-men around him. They didn’t fire me— no, sir! But you know how frank and out- spoken I am, and when I found out Wingate didn’t like me just because I was independent, we came to the parting of the ways.” “L can't imagine how it could have happened. Hil send you another check right away; then I'll call up the bank and find out what's wrong. I may have made a mistake in my checkbook, of course, but I've never done anything like that before. Yes, I'll include the protest fee, too.” he book? I certainly am glad you brought that up. Every single publisher I've shown it ty has been terribly enthusiastic about the idea but they say it’s too good to sell. Isn't that nazing? Of course, they mean the public is just too stupid to get the point of the story and there just aren't enough intelligent people to make it profitable, but you wouldn't believe it, would you? “Oh, Ud rather go tourist than First Class ny day. ICs piles more fun down in tourist, and simply everybody you ever knew is there, Naturally, we did have some friends up in First whom we visited, but it seemed awfully stuffy up there with all the stifl-necks who just sit ound and look at the water. ‘Then there were just scady of awfully well-to-do people in tourist, just because they could have so much fun there.” “No, sir, we wouldn't take a big car asa gift. Mary and 1 talked it all over, and decided to keep the little one another year. You wouldn't believe how many miles we get to the gallon: Besides that we find a smali car like this is much handicr to get around in, and we've got- ten terribly attached to it.” “L habbend godd a code, it's just hay feber.” “No, Lhaven't scen much of Larry for sev- cral months, Not that we aren't still the best of friends—don’t make any mistake about that. You know yourself how people talk, but any- thing you hear about his throwing me over is sheer bosh, chiefly because there never was any- thing between us anyway. At Icast as far as I was concerned, although he was always calling me up every five minutes. And as for that Helen Saunders he gocs out with once in a while, they've known each other since ages, and if he didn’t take her out, the poor child would be home reading a book or something. St. Nick vs. St. Marx I know, of course, that Christmas has heen subject to much frontal attack as an outmoded, commercialized institution, But that it is be- ing deliberately sabotaged, _ cold-bloodedly turned into an instrument for the overthrow democracy, | never fully realized until a recent shopping experience brought me forcible awareness of the distressing facts. I was sccking a necktic suitable for a brother-in-law. “Now, here is a fine pattern,” the salesman told me. “Good look- ing, but subdued. I's the kind that can be worn anywhere.” Startled, Hooked up at him. Vague doubts and suspicions which had lain in the back of my mind for years began to crystallize. “But after it has been worn a few times won't it begin to look all fuzzy and ragged Lasked, I wanted to draw the man out—to arn the [ull extent of the damage he was prepared to do. Smirking evilly he As a matter of fact, that tie is so well made that it will wear indefinitely and look just as good as new. “Stop right there!” I exclaimed, for it had now become obvious that the man was an agent of Moscow. “In the first place,” I’ fixed him with an accusing stare, “I am buying this tie as a gift for another person as you very well know. It doesn’t matter to me in the least whether or not he likes the pattern or if the tie falls apart after one wearing. “But— “But nothing! I was determined to show him that his boring-from-within tactics were understood. “You know that our economy is based on mass produc- tion and distribution of consumer goods. You know that Christmas is the time when we buy up surplus and destroy it.” Unmasked, the salesman backed away from the counter; his mouth had fallen slightly open. I leaned forward to drive home my remarks. “Furthermore, the flimsier the article the sooner it will need replacement, thus providing employment for American workmen. Christmas is our means of re- storing the national balance. A_ per: son's cgo is satisfied by the mere receipt of a Christmas gift. It does not have to be either useful or ornamental. Yet here you are de- liberately trying to undermine our society by selling durable articles which need replac ment only on rare occasions. You are causing unemployment, unrest, and revolution!” “Who, me?” the salesman smiled weakly and began to edge along the counter toward the door. I followed him. “Don't imagine that you will succeed,” 1 shouted for the benefit of all who might be lis- "| don't know what it is. I think it's intended for a Christmas present.” tening. “I intend to expose you wherever I go. In the meantime, I will show you the way of a true American! Seizing the loudest tic in sight, I contemptu- ously tossed my money on the counter and walked out. HENRY ALFRED i) Miss Darrieux’s pictur (a “Betrayed. by Love” and ED) Arthur.” Inthe former she plays 797 the role of a lawyer. In the lat- ter, she is a hall-cast spy in the Ruwo-Japanee war. Publicity Retease THE JUDGE FOR JANUARY comicbooks.com