Judge — September 1938 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

survive a dozen would-be assassins, and a small war or two, but never even one case of droopy pants. . Here's a local battalion of my rough-house men, now I ‘have to look my fiercest. They get a sustained salute, too. Look at ‘em glower back! That's the way to put the fear of the devil in the people; I'll bet half of this crowd is making new obedience resolutions right now Why did I ever start reviewing in this heavy type of headgear anyway? If I take it off to wipe my forehead they'll think I’m weakening . . Crrrrips! Don’t I do enough for my country by Passing up everything good Soooo—the Women's Health Bri- gade. Now I have to look vigorous, but gentle. The group here is supposed to be a live organization, too. And look at ‘em go for my salute! They all keep on looking back though—never saw a woman yet who could look where she was supposed to... . That's a nicely built blonde on the other end of that rank. And look at the beef on that Wow! here comes a nifty “I can’t sing!” JUDGE FOR little dish. And does she énow it! Bold little rascal; squad leader, t She took that salute all to herself. Hmmn,, let's see—one, two, three, third battalion, first squad A fine, sturdy organization, They should be encouraged. Now who are these mutts? The new scavengers’ division. A little messy, but I suppose they will improve... . Messy scavengers, ha! ha! Well, they're playing an important part in our con- servation program right now . Third battalion, third squad— no, first squad; third battalion, first squad; third battalion, first squad... . Choosnakors’ Air Defence Battalion —what’s a Choosnakor? Oh—Cheese- makers’ Ait Defence Battalion . . . Not very many, but they've certainly been practicing that salute. Excellent! I'll reward them with another Third battalion, first squad . é Three sloppy organizations in a row —somebody’s going to hear about this. How many times do I have to tell ‘em to mix the good ones throughout? But maybe there wasn’t enough good ones .-hmmm.... chum, SEPTEMBER Wonder what time it is. This is the onl K eaaunnee stand in the coustiy that hasn't a clock in , sight... By grab! I'll 1 fix that too—T'll have * Baldy make them put up a clock tower as a memorial to my visits My arches are beginning to hurt—which usually means that I've been standing about three-quarters of an hour. And as the thing was only supposed to last two hours, we're al- ready about half through... . There's that damn flea I spent all morning looking for, crawling across my ribs. I'll just slip my hand in and —nope, Old Sloppy-Jowls on my left thinks I'm trying to look like Napoleon. Now I'll have to go through every pock- et as if I were looking for something— and then I suppose he'll wonder at my memory. Well, what do I—oops! care- ful—those suspenders. . . But what's this? The gas defence brigade! Why, they’ te only the start With five divisions, that means—let’s see—at least two more hours ..... Two more hours! roe pers] “Two wo: pounds of rats, , make it snappy!”, comicbooks.com