Judge, 1938-09 · page 13 of 53
Judge — September 1938 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "I'd Die for Dear Old—" Analysis This John Kieran poem satirizes college football fandom and the obsessive devotion fans display toward their institutions. The cartoon illustrates how fans emotionally invest in games, depicting them as a rowdy, almost cult-like group displaying extreme reactions—"We swell and we swagger," "We whoop it up wildly." Kieran mocks the paradoxes of fan behavior: they endure terrible weather, experience violent mood swings between elation and despair, and worship coaches who are "wizards" only while winning. The satire targets the absurdity of treating college sports as quasi-religious ("temples of learning"), the violence celebrated in gameplay ("crashing of muscle and bone"), and fans' willingness to abandon civility for their school—whether Princeton, Yale, Cornell, or generic "Siwash" colleges. The final stanza delivers the joke: fans pretend this spectacle "teaches all the world what a college is for"—when it clearly demonstrates the opposite, reducing universities to athletic entertainment venues.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘Td Die for Dear Old—” Kick off, my Muse, in a metrical strain, In lyric, satiric and frolicsome vein; ZS. Sing the folly called football that curdles the brain! We reck not for weather; we swelter or freeze; We're half under water or half overseas; We're up on our seats or we're down on our knees. By JOHN KIERAN We swell and we swagger; we brood and we bray, We baw! “Alma Mater" or "Anchors Aweigh" And clamor for mayhem down there in the fray. We shake with a fever or sit cold as stone; We whoop it up wildly or stifle a moan; We cry for the crashing of muscle and bone. Oh, whether they're playing for Princeton or Yale, Cornell on the hill or Siwash in the dale, Or whether they're plunging for college or kale, We yammer for yardage; we plead for an inch; We feast on a slaughter; we cringe in a clinch; We're floored by a sleeper we thought was a cinch! We're ripe for a riot; for savagery sib; An eye for a tooth and a leg for a rib! So rock ‘em and sock ‘em, repeating ad lib. Our rivals are rotters; we quarrel with kin; Our coach is a wizard—provided we winl If not, he's a triple-dashed—{kindly fill in}! Heigho for the temples of learning we build, And the muscular bohunks with which they are filled, And their classical struggles with which we are thrilled. Heigho for us zanies who turn out and roar In weather of sorts that | greatly deplore To teach all the world what a college is for! THE FOR SEPTEMBER comicbooks.com