Judge — August 1938 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sea SERPENT: AH! My DEAR FRIEND, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU. NO ONE HAS DONE MORE THAN YOU HAVE TO KEEP ME IN MUTZ A Drama by Hinckiedinck (The audience is requested to remem- ber that in the German language the diphthong ie is always pronounced e, while ei is i, Au is ow. Ring up, Ru- dolf.) Peoples Weizgei, a rich limburgher. Hohgen, an cismann. Brigitt, his frauze frau. Hans Auf, a tuffwaiter. Scene: Wurstroom at the Grabenrun Frielunsch. Hohgen and Brigitt seated at a table, Hans shuffling and cutting the uniederz preparatory to dealing them. Enter Weizgei, dressed in true German fashion of frokcoht, leitpanz and heihatt. Hohgen (singhen raghteim): Gittaut thewai oldantukka. Weizgei (schowenauf): fein rhein wein fuhr mein. Hohgen: Gittonter der dood. (Tu Brigit.) Wotz eten u, creibabi? Brigitt (tierferle): Mei schuh hertz mei tootze. Hohgen (larfen orferle) : Gitterbigar shuh. (Brigitt grohnz.) Weizgei: | Gnorr. Hooz thechipp, naber? Hohgen (smoken tiedie peip): Mei weif. Weizgei (dedmasht): Youz tu dein mit mie. (Sitz daun.) Hans, hasch fisch and apulsass. Hohgen (sweinischle): Minz pei und bienz hier. Brigitt (scheile): freideg fuhr Mabel. Ein stein (Sprucenupp.) Eis criem und THE PUBLIC EYE, Hohgen: Booz fuhr muh. Eim dreierner Kuvud brij. Brigitt (explanationen) : Patze is auf der watterwagen, Mein iss fizz. Weizgei: Ghessagen. (Brigitt scaulz.) Hohgen (maikenfasiz) : Stik tu huhr Unkelmeik. Hans (butteninagen): Der casch iss du. Hohgen: Pumpernickel in der sloht, Bihl. Weizgei (gittenmad): Gashausmik! “AH, YES, MR. TERRIER, YOU LOVE ME NOW, BUT—WHEN I AM OLD, WRIN- KLED AND UGLY?” Hohgen (blarneyen): Simmerdaun, bos. . Weizgei (hoppenmad): Gotterdam- merung! Brigitt (schocht) : Nortinorti. Hans (scairdt): Der hausel bepincht. Weizgei (snieken autervit): —er— erung, den. Hohgen (noctaut): Ohratz! Brigitt (gittenup) : Buhle fuhr u, bos. Solong. The Judge Album—1910-1912 Weizgei (sweetlismilen): Ofer der riffer, Delicatessen. Hohgen: Kuttitaut, kidz, kuttitaut. (To Hans.) Dohn takenne badmunne. Hans: Unomie, Piet. (Dey leit aut. Leitz aut.) Der endt. —Quincy Kitsy. Why Ada Never Married Her mother's explanation: “She was always hard to suit!” Her father's explanation: “She could not find a man her intellectual equal.” Aunt Fanny's explanation: ‘Young men are not what they were in my day!” Brother Jim's explanation: “She was never much of a looker, anyhow.” Her best friend's explanation: “She never was asked, that's the reason.” Ada’s own explanation: “I could not . bring myself to give up my church and settlement work!" —W. W. WHITELOCK. |e se | “IF YOU DON’T GO AWAY AT ONCE I SHALL BE COMPELLED TO CALL MY WIFE.” 29 comicbooks.com