Judge — July 1938 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

st rd ng Nes THE SOCK ON THE JAW By Robert Terrall UR sound effects man is a pretty wonderful man when he has his health, and when he came down with laryngitis before our program Friday night we were like a comic without a studio audience—just helpless. We do a fifteen minute spot for the Crummy Breakfast Food people called “Spies,” and we never end up our fiftcen minutes without there being a large number of the dramatis personae stretched out dead or dying on the studio floor, which of course means a lot of sound effects. Action juveniles like ours have got to have a lot of sound effects—ma- chine guns rattling, taxi-doors slam- ming, high-powered motor cars scream- ing up and down the streets and crash- ing into each other, occasionally a fire in an arsenal ending with a terrible ex- plosion touched off by Madame Ulit- sky, the beautiful Russian whom no man can resist, and naturally it all keeps the sound effects man hopping. I guess you must have read articles about what a sound effects man has to do on programs like ours. When there's a storm at sea he has to paddle his hand around in a wash tub full of water. When one character throws another character through the window he has to hit the microphone with a paper bag full of broken glass. You know the sort of thing. Once he even imitated the entire Battle of the Somme by swal- lowing desperately, making little pop- ping sounds with his mouth, and shak- ing dried peas ina tin can. For five or ten minutes at a stretch sometimes we have nothing at all but sound effects, which is wonderful for me because I've got the job of writing dialogue. So you can imagine our feeling half an hour before we went on the air last Friday when we heard that our sound effects man had come down with laryn- gitis. At first I thought, my God, we might as well turn the program over to Ann Keith at the organ, but when I looked over the incidental noises I had put down in my script they didn’t look so bad at that. Eddie the office boy from the production offices down on the 16th floor said he could imitate a rail- road train, and he proceeded to imitate a railroad train right there, which caused a great commotion in production but took quite a load off my mind. He had learned it from his father, and the railroad train sounded sort of old fash- ioned, but I got to work on the script and made it so that Tim Allen, who plays the Eagle Scout who is the hero, is having a dream that he is living at the turn of the century, so an old fash- ioned railroad train is quite O.K. Eddie said he could imitate three cats on the back fence too, but I wasn't able to work that in. Then I thought we ought to have a storm at sea because after all, almost anybody can swish his hand around in a wash tub full of water, so I changed the big scene to the inside of a sunken submarine instead of a caved- in diamond mine and made the fight between the sinister Dr. Dunois and Tim Allen not over the secret plans for some mysterious South African forti- fications but over a new combination torpedo pistol and cigarette case that Tim had just invented instead. This fight was going to be the hard thing. It’s easy enough to run round the room knocking over chairs and panting when- ever you get within range of the close mike, but sooner or later one fellow has to sock the other fellow on the jaw while Madame Ulitsky, whom no man can resist, lets out a piercing scream. The scream is easy, all you have to do is scream, but how on earth were we going to get the sock on the jaw? Most Dor a Gignons Woation Enjoy the sophisticated atmosphere of this world- famous Hotel and Chicago's unequaled program of sum- mer sports and recreation. Overlooking Lake Michigan. A.S. Kirkeby, Managing Director Sarasa we ties oon tee was MAIL THIS COUPON TODAY! aume The JUDGE 18 East 48th St., New York City Gentlemen: jease enter my subscription for THE JUDGE for 2 years and send me at once, postoald. a copy of the X-Word Puzzle Omnibus. I enclose $3.00 fn full payment. comicbooks.com