Judge — July 1938 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Information Desk Things Walter Winchell Never Knew (According to a Recent Column) and Still Doesn't Know, So We'll Tell Him. 1, Why there is a statue of Herbert Hoover in Poland. Because he was never President of Poland. 2. Why it is that murders occur most frequently on week-ends and holidays. That's easy—because that's people have time to kill. 3. Why the official title of the King of Siam is “Possessor of Twenty-Four Umbrellas.” Because he never reigns but it pours. when 4. Whether a lot of guys would have such a tall opinion of themselves if they realized that the human body reduced to chemicals and minerals is worth only thirty cents. Sure they would; that’s the other fel- low’s body. 5. Why there aren't as many bath rooms as there are automobiles in the US. Can you hog the road with a bathtub? 6. Why Edward Lee Hays, a Sacra- mento Salvation Army worker, recently asked the court to change his name to The Measuring Worm The cut-worm is a pesky thing, The army-worm is more so. But what's this crawling creature gain That measures with his torso? While all the bugs are eating greens And causing gross dissension, This little lad throws out his chest To span the fifth dimension. —HENRY CHARLTON BECK. July, 1938 Tiamnge Kilfailnogi Suhfpvonpreidxsky- snga. Would you give him a ticket if you were a traffic cop? 7. Why in “Lucky Day’ Michael Whalen doesn’t kiss his leading lady once, though there is a scene in which he kisses a horse. We don't know; we haven't seen his leading lady. 8. Whether red-baiters are that there is a Moscow in Idaho. Also in Arkansas, lowa, Kansas, Ken- tucky, Michigan, Obio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas and Vermont, Also a Berlin in Alabama, California, Connecti. cut, Georgia, Illinois, Maryland, Massa- chusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Obla- aware TTEGRMIc K hona, Oregon, Pennsylvania and Wis- consin. And a Rome in Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, lowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Mis- sissippi, Missouri, New York, Obio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and Wisconsin. So what? 9. Why dieticians say that horse- faced girls make bum cooks. Because they're afraid to turn them loose on the range. 10. How many blondes know that they have xanthic hair. "Know" is no word to use in connec- tion with blondes. 11, What the twenty-five thousand ways of earning a living in the U.S. are. One of them is writing columns about Things You Never Knew; another is writing answers like this. 5 comicbooks.com