Judge — June 1938 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Formula A was Americana Dementia Co., Unlimited. B bounded it, capitalized it, dignified it, elaborated it, floated it, gobbled it, handled it, invested in it, juggled it, kidnapped it, looted it, manipulated it, negotiated it, organized it, promoted it, Q queered it, R robbed it, S scuttled it, T trimmed it, U underwrote it, V victimized it, X exposed it, Y yellowed it, and Z zeroed it. POZZHAGH DOGMA | aa’ Ii | y A TENDER REMINISCENCE “TIMES ARE SO HARRUD, Missus BROPHY, IT’S A PITY YE DON'T SELL THER ANIMAL.” “INDADE AN’ Ol WUD THAT SAME, Missus CAZEY, OWNLY THER FACE IV HIM REMOINDS ME IV ME POOR DEAD HUS- BAND, REST HIS SOWL.” Lesson 1—Hysteria | Ue { First Aid to the Injured 1, Young ladies are the most frequent sufferers from this malady. As a general rule, the appearance in the room of an able-bodied mouse, or the discovery that a peripatetic caterpillar is promenading over their person will produce hysterics. 2. When affected, they alternately indulge in automatic laughter and spasmodic weeping. 3. After the removal of the immediate cause, the patient should be soothed and quieted. 4. In order to prepare for the most violent form—in which a straight-jacket must be resorted to—a measure should be taken of the patient's waist. 5. To do this, a man ought to have a previous knowledge of the exact length of his arm. The measurement can then be easily made without the use of a tape-line. 6. It is well to take this measure several times, as ab- solute accuracy is indispensable. 7. This generally begins to soothe her. wees Mt 8. If her big brother is present, send him for the doctor ACCORDING TO SCHEDULE PoLicEMAN—How LONG ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN New York? HiraM—WA.AL, Y’SEE, I’M TOWN CONSTABLE, _ before beginning treatment. 9. Statistics prove that twice as many cases of hysteria occur in church as occur at the minstrels. There is an in. structive moral somewhere in this. so I GOT TO BE BACK IN TIME TO ARREST Cy 10. If a man apparently has the hysterics, leave him HEUDERS FOR GITTIN’ TIPSY NEXT SAT’DAY NIGHT. The Judge Album—1900-1905 alone. He has probably received one of his wife's bills. 33 comicbooks.com