Judge — May 1938 — page 45: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“One oF THose Exptorers Lert Ir— Ir Sure Keeps My Ears Warm!” Note From a Grateful Tenant Dear Good Kind Mr. Landlord: Thank you so much for dispossessing me. It came as such a pleasant surprise. You were a dear to think of it. Would you believe it, I didn’t know a thing about it until late last night when I came up the street and saw all the things out on the sidewalk. I was terribly tired and wishing I could just tumble into bed without climbing those three flights of stairs. Imagine my de- light when I saw that I could do ex- actly that. I was just in time for a nice cold shower before retiring, as the gentlemen of the street-cleaning department were washing off the block at that hour. And there were my pyjamas spread out across the foot of the bed and my bathrobe on the lamp-post. It was sweet of you, too, to put the bed up against that arc-light. It made a perfect reading lamp. How- ever did you know that I always read before going to sleep? And then the ice chest was so handy. Really, I just needed to stretch a little to snatch a few slices of chicken and an apple for a midnight feast. Mr. McCarthy, the officer on our block, sat down on my chaise longue and shared my little supper. We had a fine chat. At first I thought he was going to be mean about my blocking traffic, but I told him that dispossession is nine points of the law and that everything was all right. Actually, he’s such a per- fectly divine person that he put my rug down for me, hooked up the radio, and took the measurements for my new cur- tain rods. I'll have to hang the curtains between the two lamp posts. I'm afraid that’s going to mean an awful lot of work but it's worth it, really. Fortu. nately, I had taken an awning from a nightclub, just for a prank of course, but, my, it certainly will come in handy during bad weather. This morning early, I was woken up by the milkman’s horse snuggling along- side of me, poor fellow. He was so sleepy that I hadn't the heart to disturb him, So I threw a blartket over his shoul. ders and slipped quietly out of bed. Then I dressed, swept off the sidewalk, and made some coffee. Really, everybody in that little crowd that was standing around seemed so pleasant and cheer. ful that I felt I simply had to pass around coffee as long as it lasted. I do hope they come back every morning, and I'm sure you won't mind all this hap- pening in front of your apartment house, will you? Officer McCarthy says he would never think of moving me, I seem so—well—so homey. So off to work, bright and clear- headed. There's nothing like sleeping in the open air. You know, I'd always wanted to do it before, but I siniply didn’t seem to get around to it. Well, I must close now. I'm simply crazy about my new place. Never a dull moment. So many interesting people passing through all the time. Thanks again, ever so much, Affectionately yours, Apartment 3C. P.S. I found the rent money in the third drawer of my dresser, but of course you couldn't know that I always keep it in there. Anyway, it makes no difference now, because I really like it better out here. © —PHyYLLis RYAN. “Yeau, His Wire FINALLY CONFESSED Sue Dw It; Set A BLONDE THERE AS Bart.” kKkkKkK * * x, * * “T.R.’s" Tradition x still lives ASS into the Roosevelt and you leave the madding crowd behind. Here is the inti- macy, quiet dignity and un- obtrusive service of a well- ordered home. You may rest or entertain at the Rooseveltin an atmosphere as traditionally hospitable as that of the great T. R."’ * o/* Onin Tucker and_Or- chestra nightly in Grill, Dine ‘neath the Hendrik Hudson Room's noted Wyeth murals. Cocktail in any of half-a- dozen gay, intimate spots. Red Cap service under- round directly from rand Central. ROOSEVELT K Bernam G. Hines, Managing Director I Madison Ave. at 45th St, New York yr KKKKKKKKKKKKKK kkk +> 2 oe > EE bE bt bb Eb tt Ot Ob ob Oe 2b Eb be 2b bE bb Ob bb bb tb Sign of Spring It MAY be the balmy weather, but—like the enterprising young gentleman above—Tue Jupce seems to be making new friends. More and more people are discovering that America’s oldest humorous magazine is also America’s most entertaining. Ask us to drop in, month- ly! Just send your name, your address and your check for $1.50 to: THE JUDGE 18 East 48th Street, Néw York, N.Y. For a whole year’s subscription 4! comicbooks.com