Judge — May 1938 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IF | DARE SAY SO ENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO becomes a conspicuous world fig- ure in an inconspicuous country, be- cause short-sighted observers think that “as Spain goes, so goes the world.” . . . Not so. The world didn’t go Napoleonic for NAPOLEON, republican for WasH- INGTON, or bolshevik for STALIN. And it's not going fascist for MussoLint, Hitter, or FRANCO. . . no, nor even Rooseveltian for ROOSEVELT. . . . Mex- ico has been cockeyed for years, but we didn’t start worrying about it until she took over our oil men’s stuff... . You know where Manifest Destiny slipped a cog? In not prompting us to swipe that peninsula of Lower California while we were in the swiping business. That strip and the bay it encloses will give us many a sleepless night. And what do you think of our new empire expansion out in the Pacific? We're picking up islands as fast as we can get the speedboats under weigh. . . . It's plain that it's being done with the silent diplomatic consent of Great Brit- By Charles B. Driscoll ain. I hope we don't have to pay for that little courtesy in blood. I bow low to game Fritzt SCHEFF, who isn’t as young as she was 30 years ago, but has what it takes to make a trouper. She started on the road again, and was stopped by appendicitis at Providence. And she's writing her memoirs, you know. . . . Why do peo- ple take off their coats and hats before jumping to death in a river? . . . Nomi- nation for two best-looking politicians: Pau V. McNutt and JosepH PATRICK KENNEDY. . . . ALEXANDER DE SEVER- skY was chased out of Russia by the reds. Now he sells ‘em airplanes for cash. And the planes are so good that, if they should ever want to, the reds can come right over to Farmingdale in them and drop greetings on COLONEL DE SE- VERSKY’S head. ‘Women's hats are getting pretty again, after a couple of years of ugliness. But the girls know that that’s the way to do —surprise us all of a sudden by looking prettier than usual . . . and don’t we al- 6 8g \RV BREGER “Great HEAVENS, CHILD, WHAT Have You Done?” ways fall for it? . . . I don’t like the reds, so I'm happy to say something good about them when I can. JOsEF STALIN knows how to hold his gab better than any other dictator, and better than many who don't call themselves quite that. He's the only one of the big-me guys who knows enough to keep still. . . . Both sides in all modern wars complain of abdominal cramps about women and children killed by the enemy. But that's war in our day. And, after all, wasn't it rather a superstition that led us to be- lieve that only healthy young men should be murdered in our war games? Winged Pharaoh, by JOAN GRANT (Harpers), is good reading matter, especially for students of history. Emit Lupwic goes right to bat for his friend, RICHARD LEWINSOHN, in the introduc- tion to the latter's biography of BARNEY BaRNATO, .. . COLONEL E. M. House, the Ray Motey of his day, meant well, but I've never been able to see that he accomplished any good. . . . I heard SINCLAIR Lewis make a grand speech in defense of non-propaganda writing. He has a way of saying popular things in a delightfully unpopular way, and so re- tains the priceless enmity of the peren- nial indignationists. . . . Ever know any- thing done by Ropert Moses that was done badly? When I see that man, I'll bump my head on the floor, right before the whole audience. . . . If the Russian Royal Family actually lived with the sort of “‘art’’ that's exhibited as theirs, I don’t wonder so many of the Economic Royalists of that unhappy country were . goofy. Rasputin might have saved the day by smashing up some of those jeweled Easter eggs and enameled atroc- ities. . . . MR. CHARLES LINDBERGH: Weren't we rather nice to you and your family on your latest trip over, and won't you come back and stay? Westport, Conn., had a town row over whether it wanted to be a center of cul- ture, and it decided against the more abundant cultural life... . Well, after reading In Our Country Garden, by Ciare OcbEN Davis, of Wesport, I'd go to the Davis garden for my share of the beautiful, and let Salzburg go hang. ... PAUL VINCENT CARROLL, the little (Page 45, please) The Judge comicbooks.com