Judge — February 1938 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ANGWILL, the novelist, rarely re. verts to humor in his stories, but he is a rare judge of it, nevertheless. “It was in Perth,” he writes, “that, puzzling over a grimy statue, I was accosted by a barefooted newsboy, with his raucous cry of ‘Hair-r-ald, Glasgow Hair-r-ald!’ ‘Tl take one,’ quoth I, ‘if you tell me whose statue this is.” “**Tis Rabbie Burns,’ replied he, on the nail. ““Thank you,’ said I, taking the pa- per. ‘And what did he do to deserve the statue?’ “My newsboy scratched his head. Per. ceiving his embarrassment, a party of his friends down the street called out in stentorian chorus: ‘Ay, tis Rabbie Burns.’ “*But what did he do to deserve the statue?’ I thundered back. “They hung their heads. At last my newsboy recovered himself—his face WINTER IN THE COUNTRY. brightened. Wire (IN THE DISTANCE): Hurry uP, CHARLIE, YOU'VE “Well,” said I again, ‘what did he do ONLY GOT FIVE MINUTES TO CATCH THE TRAIN IN! to deserve this statue?” N AMUSING incident occurred at the close of Sam Jones's sermon at Pulaski, the other day. Stepping down from the pulpit and looking solemnly over the audience, the revivalist said: “I want all the women in this crowd who have not spoken a harsh word or harbored an unkind thought toward their husbands for a month past to stand up.” One old woman, apparently on the shady side of sixty, stood up. “Come forward and give me your hand,” said the preacher. The woman did so; where- upon Jones said: “Now turn around and let this audience see the best-look- ing woman in the county.” After taking her seat, the revivalist addressed the men: “Now I want all the men in this crowd who have not spoken a harsh word or harbored an unkind thought towards their wives for a month past to stand up.” Twenty-seven big, strapping fellows hopped out of the audience with alacrity. “Come forward and give me your hands, my dear boys.” Jones gave each one a vigorous shake, after which he ranged all of them side by side in front of the pulpit and facing the audi. ence. He looked them over carefully and solemnly, and then, turning around to the audience, he said: “I want you all to take a good look at the twenty-seven biggest liars in the State of Tennessee.” 32 * ‘He died!’ answered the little man.” HE GOT A DEMERIT PROFESSOR OF CHEMISTRY—"GENTLEMEN, I HOLD IN MY HAND A VIAL OF SODA. WHAT CHEMICAL SHALL I COMBINE WITH IT TO PRO- DUCE A VALUABLE ARTICLE OF COMMERCE?” GoopsBy (WAKING uP)—"ScotcH!” The Judge comicbooks.com ee en ee ee eer i, a