Judge — February 1938 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU MUGS—CAN’T YOU HOLD THAT THING STILL?” GONE WITH THE SWOON By Joseph Fishman and V. Terrys Perlman OW brash and impudent and wn. ladylike the so-called “ladies” of our own time have become is made all too clear when one considers the man- ners of another day. Let us, for instance, quote a few paragraphs on the etiquette of traveling from “The Behavior Book” written by Mrs. Leslie in 1853: “Have your name engraved on the back of your carpet bag, and also on the brass plate of your trunks. Besides this, your name in full should be printed in white letters on every trunk. It is also an excellent plan to tie around the handle of each trunk or bag a bit of blue, red or yellow ribbon.” It should be noted that the more en- terprising ladies engraved on the brass plates not only their full names and ad- dresses, but also their telephone num. bers. Incidentally, philologists have dug up the fact that the use of the word “brass” to indicate a certain forward. 14 ness arose from the aforesaid practice of engraving on brass these intimate de- tails. Mrs. Leslie also suggests: "If you are fortunately able to ride backwards as well as forward, you will be less incommoded with flying sparks by sitting with your back to the engine. A spark getting into the eye is very pain- ful and sometimes dangerous. It is pos- sible to expel it by blowing your nose very hard while with the other hand you wipe out the particle of cinder with a corner of your handkerchief, pulling down the lower lid.” It is impossible to discuss this para- graph, as there is evidently a mistake somewhere. We tried blowing the nose very hard with one hand and running a handkerchief around our eye while pull- ing down the lower lid with the other, and couldn't do it. Even when we eased up on the nose and only blew it medium we found it a difficult trick. Happily, Mrs. Leslie also gives other methods: "If this does not succeed get out at the first station house where you can stop Jong enough, procure a bristle-hair from 4 sweeping brush, tie it in a loop or box with a bit of thread, then let someone insert it beneath your eyelid and move it slowly all around so as to catch in it the offending particle of coal and bring it out. Or, if there is time, send to the nearest apothecary for a lobster's eye and soak it five minutes in a saucer of vine- gar and water to give it activity. Then, wiping it dry and carefully inserting it beneath the eyelid, bind a handkerchief over it. It will go circling around the eye and most likely take up the mote in its course.” In which case, it only remained to devise some method for removing the lobster eye At first this often presented a most distressing problem, but gradu- ally, as Nature asserted herself, the eye The Judge comicbooks.com ee Re Ee