Judge — September 1937 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IF | DARE SAY SO By CHARLES B. DRISCOLL ‘Tae still danger of war in China, and it'll take only about ten more battles and a few thousand more casualties to start one . . . . I'm told it’s manifest destiny that’s driving the Japs on to conquest. Manifest destiny is drawing-room English for the urge that makes a. fellow crawl in a window and take your cash. It's what TEDDY ROOSEVELT called the force that made him fake a revolution in Panama so we could build that canal . . . . Just an old. fashioned itch for the other fellow’s stuff . .. . But this worries me. When the Japs have all of China, how are they go- ing to clear off enough Chinese to make room for the Japs? Maybe they'll take another leaf from American history and just pretend the Chinese are Indians... .. Americans discovered the North Pole, fought for years about who got there first. It took the Russians to discover that it wasn’t worth discovering ... . I think they're planning to liquidate the pole when the ice melts. [™ writing this in Hollywood, after an overnight flight by sleeper from New York. When I flew out here two years ago the sleepers were converted Condors, and noisy as a Rotary convention. Now they're quieter than Pullmans, with roomier beds. When they get real gal- leys and cooks aboard the liners, all will be perfect .... . At a breakfast broadcast I attended in JIMMIE FIDLER’S back yard, ANDY DEVINE'S little boy, Tad, fell into the swimming pool. RICHARD ARLEN jumped in and made the rescue, ruining his clothes. The silly part was that the audience probably thought the whole thing rehearsed, because it could not see the poor kid as he went under .... JANE WITHERS was there, and made me wonder. If she's eleven, the gitls I know of high school age are aw- ully underdeveloped .. . . JERRY BELCHER, from Texas, is about the best of the informalists on the air. His Gloucester fishermen broadcast was one of the cleverest. What the air needs is more of the oxygen of informality and unrehearsedness . . . . Physical ills aren't altogether physical, or are they? I dashed out here because I felt like the wreck of the Hindenburg, and all full of 32 fancy pains. Met an old college friend, HARRY MacPHERSON, who writes hit songs for the movies, and we spent an evening at The Beachcomber's .. . . i haven't had an ache since... . I re- member when Harry was fired by a city editor for going to the firemen’s ball and getting scooped on a bad fire. Thec. e. said: You'll never amount to a damn! . ... That's a dangerous prediction to make about any young fellow. A high school principal made it about a young. ster he was firing. Afterwards took it back publicly at a banquet given in honor of the kid, grown up. ODD Mc. INTYRE was the fellow’s name. JN. THE L. A. Times I find this head. line: MARGARET SANGER WILL TEACH BERTH CONTROL IN CHINA ... . No limit to that woman's ambition. When she gets the berths under control in China she'll probably go after the germy plush seats in some of our Yonkers commuter trains... . But I went over to Whittier with my old friend, DR. W. O. MENDENHALL, president of Whittier College, where they're working out new ideas in educa- cation that'll begin to catch on in the east in another generation or two... . . ++. Jimmy changed the name every time they threatened to make him famous, and never left a forwarding address... . News story that has interested me most is the delightfully incomplete and mysteri- ously inconclusive,tale of treasure found in a tunnel in the jungle of Chiriqui, Panama . . . . The gold vanishes as though it were moonshine when the soldiers come within reach of it, and the fellow who found ‘the bullion gets shot . . .. Of one thing you may be sure— you'll never hear the whole truth of that tale. And that’ pile of gold bars, with the castle and lion.of old Spain stamped upon them, will not soon come to rest in MR. MORGANTHAU'S big vault at Fort Knox. A robber who hasn't served his time should never do prodigious feats, golf or otherwise, to attract public notice. I knew a bank robber (no, I don’t mean a bank president) who was a writer of short stories. Editors cried for more of his stuff, wanted to feature his name, which was only a pseudonym anyway. I've heard that normal folk begin to feel altitude sickness on mountains about ten thousand feet up. A cranky heart brings it on at four thousand, if you move about. So I had an adventure at Blowing Rock, North Carolina, where I made a talk at DR. E. O. GROVER'S summer school of English . ... The cus. tomers were all nice about it, allowing me to talk while seated, and getting me down the mountain in a great hurry, af- ter the program . . . . But it seems strange to some that high flying doesn’t hurt. The difference is in the amount of exer- cise... . I'm rebuked by a reader for asking the whereabouts of PHILLIPS RUSSELL. He's at Chapel Hill, N. C., she says, teaching and writing steadily, atiently, modestly . . . . Is it true, as I've n told, that there is no word for SECRETARY ANTHONY EDEN says, speaking of his European neighbors so loudly they all can overhear: ... we covet naught of theirs... . He was lookin; right at Italy, too. Yes, but Englan coveted as long as coveting was profit- able, and never stopped coveting until she had most of the world hung opi her covet-room . . . . So it enrages SSO. LINI to hear windy moralizings from Mr. Eden . . . . as though a tomcat, stuffed to the roof with fresh-killed canary meat, should sit on his roof and purr, I want naught of anybody's canar. tes... . . BRUNO LESSING has made travel writing interesting again. After FRANK CARPENTER and STOD. DARD, writing about travels became a bore to the public, but Lessing (real name RUDOLPH BLOCK) has changed all that .... Aging in the ink is one way of making a writer good. Bruno wasn’t during his first two or three years in print, but he became good... . much the same was the case with WEST- BROOK PEGLER, now one of the most brilliant of all columnists ....1 won a convert the other day. Like any good missionary, I took him at a disadvantage. I was riding in the back seat. My friend, DR. ED McCABE, New York surgeon, was driving on a sick call. So I poured my story into his ear, and, after twenty miles, was rewarded. Yes, he agrees with me that first degree murder. ers should be used as guinea pigs for science, instead of being wasted in elec- tric chairs . . . . so, one by one, we'll convert ‘em... . and then what? comicbooks.com