Judge — August 1937 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IF | DARE SAY SO By CHARLES B. DRISCOLL LBERT SHAW THE ELDER has eleven honorary degrees, and I've always felt like an ant in his presence, though he’s democratic enough. .. . Now this SHAW man with all the de. grees, and his son ROGER, a bright lad, have taken over the wreckage of Literary Digest and are weaving it into their Review of Reviews. . . . Here's good luck to ‘em, father, son and maga- zine. .. . CAPTAIN SIMON LAKE, submarine inventor and engineer, count- ed his loot the other day, after two years of heartbreaking efforts to salvage the treasure of the Hussar frigate, at Hell S$ _ = —_—_-_= Gate. The take amounted to 86 cents in modern coins, brought up by a dredge. LAKE has been a millionaire, but at 71 he was interrupted in his treasure hunt by notice that his home was to be sold for taxes. Brave old SIMON! You can’t beat him, and he'll get the treasure yet. . . » Talked long with GLEB BOTKIN, son of the CZAR'S physician, who's done a book to prove that PRINCESS ANASTASIA, youngest daughter of CZAR NICHOLAS, shot in Siberia, is still living. . . . Interesting, if true, but I can't help thinking that so many peo- ple have been shot in Russia, it’s only measurably important that one or more may have escaped. . . . But I know a man who has collected a large library on the subject of the LOST DAUPHIN, and doubtless somebody has all the data on LOST CHARLIE ROSS. . . . Mys- terious farm hands, in my boyhood, all pretended to be CHARLIE ROSS. It made them so romantic. I saw MISS PAULA LECLER off for Spain; “looking for trouble,” she said. she is the only woman correspondent I know who takes her chances, war or plague or disaster, along with the men, asking no favors and sticking to the front line as long as any of them... . LOUIS J. ALBER was telling me how WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN once lectured to a Chautauqua audience with. out fastening some important buttons, and how the next speaker on the pro- gram delivered a lecture entitled BUT- TON-UP PEOPLE, not knowing of BRYAN'S plight, and how the audience roared. . . . But ROE FULKERSON is the best business men’s lecturer in our 32 day, I think, knowing exactly how to make ‘em happy... . If you were LINDBERGH, would you come back? He's doing nicely over there, and he has freedom and safety for himself and his family. Or do you think a man should live in the country in which he happened to be born, no matter what it does to him? . . . Children are still being kidnaped and murdered in Ameri- ca, you know, and can you think of an American spot where the LIND- BERGHS could find privacy? . . . Loy. alty, as I always tell ‘em, is no good if one-sided. A sane man is loyal to the country, family, employer or friend that's loyal to him. Carry it farther, and it's a vice. . . . Before you cry out too much against the big show that’s going on in this country just now, please re- member that we're having a revolution. As revolutions go, I think it’s a well. mannered, quiet, orderly and almost chivalrous aflair +. . Certainly a white. tie performance compared with the one GEORGE WASHINGTON worked in . and I might add, if there be no objection from the galleries, that little MISS DUPONT has become the best- looking ROOSEVELT in history. JOHN BARRYMORE did some tip. top work on the air, directly after he got ELAINE back. Permit me to sug- gest a radio skit for the two of them, How to Get Redress in Front of Your Husband. . .. CARL JOHN BOSTLE- MANN, whose poems appear in New York daily newspapers often, was man- aging a restaurant in Manhattan when the depression unhorsed him, and he's been writing poetey ever since. . EUGENE O'NEILL has been thumbing across America this summer, and enjoy- ing it. No, not the playwright, but the 18-years-old son of HARRY F. O'NEILL, who draws Broncho Bill . . . but the most beloved comic dog in all comic history, in my opinion, is NAPOLEON, drawn from life by CLIFFORD MCBRIDE. Yes, he owns the original, a whopping Saint Bernard. . . . There is too much dramatizing on the air. The customers are about fed up. A_ good story-teller could knock ‘em cold and hot... but where is he? . . . NEIL VANDERBILT tells me he was not chased away from the place where WINDSOR and WALLY were staying, but was merely asked to drive around to the side entrance, which didn’t happen to be all cluttered up with reporters who couldn't get in. The cor- respondents shouldn’t envy NEIL; he's worked as hard as any of them for his reportorial standing, and he dropped a fortune in the learning of his jok. ea8 ALBERT PAYSON TERHUNE makes by far the best martini in the world, and it is a part of his perfect hospitality never to permit a guest to drink alone ...and who believes, with me, that dogs are too much legislated against? Man is not dog's best friend, or he'd wipe out the million foolish ordinances and regulations that make a dog feel like a dog, while bank- wreckers put on dog and ride in chauf- feur cars. . . . The white line should be built into the middle of the highway when the pavement is laid . . . same thing white walk intersection lines. Only, they don’t have to be white. In Florida they're often reddish, to avoid sunglare. . . . A toast to JOHN STEW. ART BRYAN, one of us journalistic boys who is making good as head of William and Mary, educational pride of the South. Conditions in China are terrible, I understand. I heard a touching sermon about the need for Christian mission. aries out there, and I gave a quarter. . . . So THE DEVIL tempted me, and I wrote a note: "Please use this to send the Gospel to the police of South Chi. cago.” . . . But the police puzzle we have always with us, along with other pesky problems that Democracy doesn’t seem to do anything about . . . for, while the Chicago cops, in the mass, seem able to beat the brains out of un. armed working ple, the New York police were unable to contribute any- thing toward solution of the so-called GEDEON murder mystery . . . except that they did find time to subject poor OLD MAN GEDEON to the third de “gree and roundly disgrace him in the newspapers, though any cub reporter would have known he was innocent. Now, crime police and traffic police are two different tribes. Nowadays, most traffic police are polite, efficient and more astute in handling their jobs than are some international diplomats I might mention if I'd a mind to be un- pleasant . . . and here’s a thought for the makers of addresses to college Fresh- men in the fall: No person should be called educated if he hasn't good man- ners. comicbooks.com