Judge — August 1937 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Maybe Sherman Was Exaggerating Y wee son Bainbridge is in the next room, playing on the floor with his toy soldiers. 1 know this with- out looking, thanks to the sound effects which invariably accompany these mili- tary fantasies. It needs no cupped ear to distinguish the whistle of shells, the hollow boom of the heavy field pieces the yells of victor and vanquished. But this will not be for long. I have determined, after careful consideration, to perform the unpleasant paternal duty of depriving Bainbridge of his infantry, cavalry, artillery, ordnance, and all other materials appertaining to the military establishment arrayed in opposing groups on our best Axminster. . For only in this way may war ulti- mately be wiped off the face of the earth. Boundary disputes, diplomatic in- trigue, and the makers of war supplies may all play some part in creating inter- national strife, but it is the subtle influ- ence of the little leaden warriors in our childhood which makes us finally recep. tive, in our manhood, to the propaganda of the war mongers. Take away this receptiveness, and wars will disappear. And so instead of destructive fighting men, we should encourage the young to play with hod carriers or postmen—or other little artisans and laborers in fac- tory, shop and mine. Bainbridge shall therefore amuse himself with a carefully chosen variety of steel workers, install- ment collectors, W.P.A. men, paper hangers, steam shovel operators, radio comedians, and such like. In this way he will develop a respect for constructive work, for peaceful methods, for mutual tolerance. Come to think of it, though... 1 wonder if it would work out that way with Bainbridge. Suppose some of his little factory workers should take it into their heads to organize. Suppose they should form picket lines. Suppose tem- pers should wax ugly, and the local situation grow what the newspapers call tense. A sudden clash—and two groups would once more be at one another's throats at the foot of the bridge lamp, except that instead of being the Ameri- cans and the Bamzoobians, they would be the vertical non-unionists and the horizontal unionists. The bloodshed would be the same, the pandemonium in the living room not a whit abated. I think I shall let Bainbridge continue playing with his soldiers. In some ways, that’s just clean fun! —GeorcE WEISS, JR. EEMINGLY there are two methods of going into complete oblivion in this country. One is to get elected Vice President, and the other is to win first place on a radio amateur hour. 30 WEEKEND FUN BE THE fun what it may, there’s one four letter word that rules your weekend party three times a day. Food —it's a major attraction, and since al. most everyone has some culinary trick up his sleeve, why not let your guests show off their skill with skillet or spoon? Put spice into the preparation of the meal all as in the fod itself, and you may be surprised, indeed, at the ohs and ahs, perhaps mingled with boos and bahs that the amateur chefs will receive. Only one suggestion in passing—if the liquid complement tends towards the excessive, and a spirit of good camara- derie is in full swing, every dish will taste better for it, or at least such will be the illusion created. 'HEN there are other uses for pots and pans. Take this one, for in- stance, in the parlor. A simple ie pan and a spoon will do. Appoint Jim, let us say, as drummer boy, and send Harry out of the room. The rest of the guests must decide on some course of action, such as taking off Sally's right shoe and tickling the bottom of her foot. When Harry returns he must carry out the action, led only by variations in the volume of Jim’s beating on the pan with the spoon. If he touches Sally's left foot, the beating will be louder than if he touches her cheek. It will be barely perceptible if he touches anything or anybody other than Sally, in this case. With a little practice, most of your guests will soon be able to follow out even the most complicated plans of action. HERES where you'll get some lifted eyebrows—though innocent the fun! The good game “How Do You Like It?” Send Jim out of the room this time, and let the rest of the guests choose some part of the face or body, for instance, the chin. When Jim re- turns, he must guess the choice correctly by asking each guest the same question, “How do you like it?” The answers must be in kind. Thus, one might say in this case—"“I like it dimpled,” “I like it strong,” “I like it pointed,” etc. Try it if you don’t think you'll get some funny answers. PERHAPS the most atrocious pastime that’s being perpetuated at weekends this summer is this one: Everybody con- tributes to a kitty, then working from left to right the first player chooses a digit, as do the second and third. The fourth Fon then goes to the hone and calls that three digit num. t. Ridgefield 635, Montclair 112, Great Neck 728, etc., the exchange depending of course on the nearest town to the house party. The idea is for the fourth player to engage him or herself in conversation with whoever answers. The conversation may be on any sub. ject and an official time keeper will keep track of the number of minutes or seconds the phoner can keep the con- versation going. This rigmarole is re- paved until each guest has had a try at is conversational ability and the player who has the longest talk picks up the the kitty. Wrong numbers and no answers count the unfortunate phoner out. Oh, well, it doesn’t take much to amuse weckenders and every so often they get hooked up with the local police station and then get what they deserve! QUICKLY now—suppose that a rope is hung over a pulley, on one strand is suspended a ten pound weight, on the other strand of equal length, a ten pound monkey. Then the monkey be. gins to climb the rope. What happens to the ten pound weight? Does it move up or down? And here's another famous stickler: A squirrel on the trunk of a tree moves around so as to k the tree always between itself and Shane When the hunter has completely circled the tree, has he walked around the squirrel? You figure ‘em out, we can't. Solutions of Puzzles in this Issue comicbooks.com