Judge — August 1937 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SENATOR-AT-LARGE TE. long thing that stuck out from the back row to the Vice President's desk in the U.S. Senate the other day was Joe Guffey's neck. Joe stuck it out there himself. That thing that went whirling in dizzy circles around the chamber immediately thereafter like a wasp with honey on its tail was Joe. After Joe got his neck well out the Toga Boys began to put their fingerprints all over it. No team of acrobatic dancers ever threw their stooge higher or more often than the laddies pitched Joseph the Guff to one another. When Joe rode into the Pennsylvania Junior United States Senatorship on a widespread coattail, he was credited with being something of a political genius and long before he was led down the Senate aisle to take his oath he had maintained patronage offices in Wash- ington, As a matter of fact, the Penn. sylvania democratic organization was Joe and it was located in Washington at that time. Since then Joe has been one of the back row bitter-end New Dealers and was one of the coterie who broke up Huey Long's filibuster when they wouldn't permit Hucy to go wash his hands during a speech. That's Joe all over. Fight ‘em when they are run. ning away. There must have been a little carbon monoxide mixed with the thinking that sent Joe out to do the master-minding for the Administration in the Supreme Court controversy, or maybe some smart lad figured that a little tossing about would be very good for Joe. But cer- tainly his worst enemy would not want him bounced from the perpendicular to the horizontal so many times. DEAR old Joe has come along right pertly in the councils of the mighty these past few years, and it is said that there are those, even among his con- freres, who wanted him sealed with the documents of current importance in the corner-stone of the new Apex Building. Joe has never had any medals pinned on his chest for being a fast thinker, but outside of one or two social affairs he has never permitted himself to be hot- spotted as thoroughly as he was this time. Moreover, doggonit, he must have been a little tired from that long journey to and from Mexico City, which he had just visited in the company of the very, very generous Mr. Jones of Pittsburgh. Mr. Jones is in the oil business, and he may or may not have been in Mexico for that reason, but of course Joe went along just for the ride. Whether Mr. Jones or his companion, Joe, was responsible for the Mexican President being so generous with his private car doesn’t matter. It is a long trip. OF course, you know Mr. Jones. He is one of the Good Neighbor Joneses. As a Auaust 1937 matter of fact, he is so good and so much of a Neighbor that Stanley High, who used to be executive director of all the Good Neighbors until he began inter- preting the motives of the Administra- tion in type, discovered the other morn- ing that Mr. Jones is now sitting in the president's chair of the Good Neighbor League. Stanley discovered this by look- ing back over his shoulder on the way out as Mr. Jones came in. And then besides, whoever played this dirty trick on Joe shouldn't have given him the job of attacking men be- cause they are politicians. Joe would be the last to pretend to attack from a spotless pedestal on this issue. No sir, they done wrong by Joe. The idea of making a man who is admittedly a little out of condition: getting a little aunchy: too old to learn the necessity for geniality which he so sadly lacks and tired from travelling with Mr. Sait Jones, strip down for a championship free-for-all, may be funny, but it is also cruel. Then things aren't so hot back in Joe's old home state just now. It will be a long day before they will be able to convince Joe that in the future he wouldn't rather be the strong, silent (very silent) type. It will be a longer day before they get those finger marks off his neck. ‘HERE is quoted herewith, the fun. niest line that has ever been in these ages, to wit, “I do not object to a man having a line of thought.” That's humor; that's satire; that’s sarcasm; that’s wit; that’s mud in your eye, and how is your Aunt Emma, and if anybody can ever find out what it means please tell Joe. He has a right to know: he said it. Give good old Joe credit for one thing, though, he quit while they were still reaching for his neck. —Harry NewMan. “How long are we going to take him to work?” comicbooks.com